7 Months!

I cant believe it's been a whole month since i last posted! I apologize for my failure as a blogger!

I have just realised that i never really wrote anything about my operation after i had it. To sum it up in a word, it was awful.
I have actually been meaning to put in a complaint against the surgeon, but i barely have a minute to go to the toilet never mind pour my heart out in a letter to the NHS.
There were several things he said during my unfortunate time in his company which were both offensive and incredibly unprofessional. I was completely disgusted. To add to the annoyance, he looked (and acted) about 12, yet had a forest of chest hair that could have homed several small animals!
This annoyed me. They have to wear hair net thingys, so why was he allowed to have all that on display?? Grr, the guy annoyed me from the second he greeted me with the words 'So, we're here to improve your sex life are we?' Which was said incredibly loudly in front of a waiting room full of people. (Mainly old ladies) so it certainly raised an eyebrow or two.
I was furious. I dread to think what everyone around us thought. He made it sound like I'd chosen to go in, for some funky cosmetic procedure, when in actual fact, i was almost passing out with nerves, and shouldn't have had to be there at all.
This is what annoys me. I shouldn't have had to go through all of this. Most normal people, give birth and are fully recovered around 6 months later. It has taken me 7 months to be almost back to normal, and not in pain. I have spent Isabelle's life struggling to sit down, or even walk at times, all because of a mistake made by them. This was just one of many comments he made which upset me, including a very personal comment after the operation, for which he could probably be in trouble for sexual harassment!
I had no idea i was going to be in so much pain after the operation. My whole body ached. I felt like my insides had been punched repeatedly, my throat was sore from the tubes and i could hardly move. It took a couple of weeks before i felt human again.

Finally, i seem to pretty much be back to normal. Adam was hoping to try for baby number two this coming Christmas, but i won't have long since recovered from having Isabelle so i think we may need to re plan that!

Isabelle is doing amazingly! She has taken so well to food and is certainly thriving now! Her hair has grown loads and she's put on 1lb 5oz in three weeks!! We can tell she's getting a lot stronger now too! She sits really well, and loves to be on her feet, she's been doing lots of rolling from her back to her tummy over the past few days too!
She seems to make new sounds every day! She's very talkative and we love to hear all the funny little noises she comes out with.
She's recently begun to show shyness around people she doesn't know very well. She's always smiled at anyone and everyone, and still does the majority of the time, but she definitely shows signs of nerves around unfamiliar faces.
She gets really excited every time she sees or hears my mum, if she hears her on the phone she grins and starts chattering herself. If she sees her in person she throws her arms out and practically launches herself out of my arms towards her Grandma.
She absolutely loves books. We can spend hours sitting and reading stories, and looking at and discussing pictures. She especially loves touchy feely books, and know where all of the feely bits are on every page!
I am really struggling to believe that our tiny little girl is 7 months old today! The past 7 months have certainly been the best adventure of my life. That beautiful girl is my world. I would do anything for her and i intend to spend my life showing her what a miracle she is to us and how much we adore her.

I go back to work in exactly a weeks time. I had sort of been looking forward to it a bit, yet dreading it at the same time. I am now going through a phase of feeling utterly sick about the whole thing. I work with some fantastic people, and I'm sure I'll get straight back into it and love it again once I'm back, but at the moment I'm dreading it. I just cant imagine spending full days without being able to see that beautiful, smiley little face that brightens my day. I know I'm going to find it a lot harder than she will, it really is going to break my heart.
She's only going into a nursery for 5 hours a week, as my mum and sister are having her the rest of the time. I think the nursery will be good for her, however I'm glad its only for a short period each week.
Just lately. she's started doing the most heart breaking little cry every time i leave the room, she sticks her bottom lip out and everything, its unbearable. I just know that if she does that the first time i have to leave her next week, I'll be crying my way to work.
I just hope that my return to work doesn't mean i end up missing things. I have completely loved watching her learn and grow over the past 7 months, and i want to be there to see the first time she crawls, and her first steps etc.


I know every mother thinks the world of her child, but i literally cant explain my feelings for Isabelle.
She may have only been in my life for 7 months, but i cant imagine my life without her.

Love love love xxx

A very tough week!

This post is probably going to be completely opposite to the last. I had been feeling soo positive, and things we're going so well. How fast things can change...

In my last post i mention my battle with trying to get Isabelle's new medication down her. We managed it eventually. She was on it Friday, Saturday and Sunday, by Monday i stopped giving it to her. It was supposed to stop her being sick, and she was being more sick, she was screaming in pain, waking through the nights and she had terrible diarrhea. I hated seeing her so poorly, so as we were at the hospital on Wednesday anyway, i decided to stop it until i had spoken to them.

Monday was probably one of the worst days so far, in fact, i honestly struggled to get through the day. She was screaming in pain constantly and i couldn't do anything for her. I tried rocking her, singing to her (which normally always calms her down) pacing the house with her, letting her lay down, sit up, everything. It was awful, in the end i just sat and cried with her.
She's been taking less than half her recommended amount in feeds and she's so sick I'm sure most of what she does take comes back up. Her weight really is becoming a worry now, which is another reason why i stopped that medication. If her weights already dipping dramatically, the last thing we want is for her to have diarrhea as well as her sickness.

Tuesday was a much better day, but we were out and about a fair amount which probably helped. We got the bus into town in the morning, as i had arranged a meeting about my return to work. This had been a hot topic for us throughout the week, as we did many sums and tried to work out what would work out for the best. It was a depressing discovery. I worked out that for the number of hours per week i wanted to work, i would earn around £141.17 a week. I then looked into childcare, and to cover those hours with a childminder would cost us around £100 a week! Which would mean id be leaving my baby girl with a stranger, for 22 hours a week (3 hours included for the traveling to take her and fetch her) for £41.17! Another way i saw this, is its like me working my 19 hours for £2.16 an hour, It seems crazy. We then had a couple of offers from family for looking after her.
The hours we arranged for me to work are: All day Tuesday, All day Wednesday, and 12:30-5:30 on a Friday. My mums day off is Tuesday, so she's going to have her then. My sisters day off is Wednesday, she's volunteered to do that, so its only Fridays we need to sort. So 6 hours of childcare to find, which will make life much easier for us. I also have to work the occasional Saturday. When i work a Saturday i wont be working one of either the Tuesday or the Wednesday, which means my mum and Abi will at least get a break every now and then. I feel much better about going back to work since i had this meeting. I know there will be a lot of support there for me and i think I'll actually enjoy it!
I also feel 100% better knowing that for the majority of the time, Isabelle will be being looked after by family, who know all of her special little requirements and will look after her with the same love that we do.
I'm beginning to think a nursery for 6 hours on a Friday might be quite good for Isabelle too. As long as we find a very good one who we can trust do get all her medications right and know all of her allergies i think it'll do her good. She'll be around other children, and when she comes to the age where she has to go to nursery, she'll be more used to it. I have just rung a nursery and Adam and i are going to view it this afternoon :)
So my first day back at work is officially Friday 20th April!

On Wednesday we had Isabelle's hospital appointment. They had a good look at her and checked her weight charts and i explained all of my concerns. To cut a long story short, it turns out she was still reacting to even the prescribed milk that she was on, so they have changed that as well as putting her on another new medication, which (touch wood) we are managing OK with so far. I was very brave and gathered the courage to ask for a second opinion this time, as i really have had enough of seeing her so poorly and its dragged on for so long now. In the end i saw three doctors, who all said the same thing.. so I'm feeling quite confident this time. Isabelle has now had one full day on the new milk, which was yesterday and during the whole day she had 19oz! Which makes a nice change to the usual 12-13 she was having before.. so things are looking up. She is, however, still being incredibly sick, but i guess the medication can take time to get working.

I am still bleeding, its been over two weeks now! I spoke to the hospital this morning and my operation is now on the 8th March! Which is 7 whole weeks away! So it will be the 19th April (ish) before I'm back to my normal self :( I cant believe they are leaving me that long. The thought of being in pain for all those weeks makes me feel so down :(



Love love love xx

Just a short update!

There isn't a great deal of news at the moment really, i just wanted to do a short post to keep things going. Isabelle's still doing really well with her routine, sleeping beautifully through the night and having lots of fun at playtime! We've started a mother and baby swimming session on a Thursday too, which we love! I also started my little club last Wednesday, and it was a great success!

We had Isabelle weighed on Thursday.. 5 weeks ago she weighed 12lb 8oz.. and now she weighs 12lb 12.5oz which really isn't a good weight gain, and the health visitors are becoming pretty concerned now. She's still being incredibly sick and not eating much at all. According to the information on her tin of formula she should be having approximately 35oz a day now, and she's having about 15! :(

I attempted to start her new medication yesterday, which is supposed to stop her sickness. Its a liquid medication which i have to give her in a syringe (2ml). The trouble is, it tastes disgusting (I've tried it because of her reaction). I have tried three different ways of getting her to take it and at the moment it seems impossible. We are back at the Hospital on Wednesday though, so i will see what they say there.

In other news, i have now been bleeding for ten days, which I'm sure isn't normal, but i cant seem to get through to them at the hospital. I still don't have a new date for my operation so i need to contact them as soon as possible. The pain is really bad now so i just want it over and done with.

I already cant believe how fast this year is going. We are mid way through January already. I only have about six weeks left until i need to give notice of my return to work, ( We cant afford for me to not go back). Adam and i have decided to spend some time tomorrow looking into childminders in the Worksop area, although we wont be able to sort anything out fully until i know what days i will be working etc. The thought of it all makes me feel sick at the moment to be honest. I cant bare the thought of leaving my little girl. I love the time we spend together so much!

I hope you are all enjoying your January! Please feel free to leave comments, so i don't feel like I'm rambling on to myself!

Love love love! Milly and little Moomin xx

Happy New Year!!

It's new years day today and i wish i could say I'm feeling full of glee and excitement, like i was this time last year. I know it's going to be a very special year with our little lady but I'm feeling rather down today.
I think its because we've had such an amazing Christmas, and now it's all over, it's such an anti-climax. There are three things i am concentrating on now which are making me feel completely awful.

1) I only have one day left with Adam being off work, and at the moment he's really ill. I'm going to miss him insane amounts when he goes back (actually getting tearful writing this). I've got so used to having him around, and having help with Isabelle over the past two weeks and i just know I'm going to feel so alone when he goes back.

2) It's my operation on Tuesday and i really am scared. People probably think I'm being a wimp, i know people have operations all the time, but I've never been put to sleep in my life and I'm terrified. They said when i wake up I'll have tubes all over me and an oxygen mask etc, its going to be so scary! It makes it even worse to think that i shouldn't even have to be going through this! If they'd done it right in the first place i wouldn't have anything to be worrying about!

3) I am becoming increasingly aware that my 'return to work' date is getting closer and closer. It isn't until April, but the past few months have gone so quickly, i know it'll be here in no time. The thought of leaving my baby girl makes me feel physically sick. I have got to trust a stranger with her life! She's the most precious thing in the world to me, how do i choose a random person to replace me in looking after her? The thing that worries me most, is Isabelle now has a list of medications as long as my arm, so i need to trust that the carers will get it all right! I honestly can't bare the thought of it at the moment, but i know its something i need to start thinking about.

New Year usually makes me feel so positive, i wish i could just shake myself out of this gloomy mood I'm in today. I think its just a mixture of tiredness and loneliness today. Adam was incredibly ill in the middle of the night last night, so i was up between 3:30- 6 looking after him and cleaning up. It appears he has food poisoning :( He's been in bed all day and it absolutely broken my heart to see him so poorly. Isabelle's gone to Birmingham with Adams mum to meet some of the family, so I've spent the day on my own. I am really glad Izzy has gone on her little day trip though because its meant Adams had a day of undisturbed sleep, and I've managed to have a bit of a rest myself. I just feel exhausted, yet restless, if that makes any sense at all.

I'm going to make myself a nice strong coffee now, and try and crack on with some housework, because as daft as it seems, that normally cheers me up. I've got just less than 3 hours before i need to fetch Isabelle, so I'm going to have an hour of work, then theres a film on i want to watch. So hopefully this gloomy mood will fizzle away this evening. If not within the next couple of hours, I'm sure it will when i get a snuggle and a beautiful smile from my little girl!

I have got four New Years Resolutions which i am determined to stick to this year.

1) Lose weight!! I want to lose approximately 3 stone. I put so much weight on when i was pregnant (and quite a bit during the months before) and my confidence is at rock bottom at the moment. In fact, i  haven't even had that many photo's of me with Isabelle, because i can hardly bare to look at myself. I think Adams getting pretty fed up of me moaning about it all the time! So by the end of 2012  i will be fitting in my size 10's again :p .. hopefully! I really am feeling determined with it though, and I've got good plans for weight loss this year :)

2) Be more careful with money. Obviously while I've been on Maternity leave, our money situation has been very different. In the end, we still managed to have a wonderful Christmas, but we're struggling for it now! I'm going to be a lot more careful about what i spend my money on, and aim to put £20 a month away so I've got it saved up to do my Christmas shopping in November. Every year so far, we've had to try and do all the shopping from one payday or two, and its really hard, so I'm determined to save throughout the year. Not just for Chrismas, in general.

3) Be more organised at home. If there are any of you reading this who have babies yourself, will you please comment on this post and let me know how you get on with housework and a little one please?


4) Spend more time as a family. We don't really get a lot of time to spend together, as Adam works Monday to Friday and then Referee's on Saturdays and Sundays. We normally have 1:30pm-6pm on a Sunday to spend together, and i want to make sure we really start to make the most of that time. I want to aim to visit family more too. Grandparents/Aunties and Uncles etc.. I don't want them to miss Isabelle growing up.

So they are my four resolutions.. nothing too difficult there i don't think, but I'm determined to work hard on each and every one of them :)

I've just had a message to say my baby girl is on her way back from Birmingham :) .. so I'd better get some work done while i still have the chance! Then she can snuggle up with me and we can watch the film together. Loneliness sorted! Feeling better already :)

Happy New Year!!

D day!! The calm before the storm!

Well, we made it! Its 2:15am and today is Buttons due date! After all the doctors, nurses and midwives that warned us to prepare for a premature delivery, there is still no sign!

I actually feel a little annoyed that because of this, i finished work so early. In actual fact i probably could have done an extra few weeks had i have known. I was, however beginning to struggle towards the end though so maybe it was for the best.

I thought id write this post to try and describe how I'm feeling now my due date has arrived, but i really don't know how to. I almost feel like I'm living in a bubble at the moment, I've got so many different emotions racing through me it almost doesn't feel real. I have felt an unusual sense of calm today, i assume its probably some natural hormone that's kicked in..

Its weird to think that i have spent the majority of my life being absolutely petrified of what i am about to do, and yet now, i am a matter of days or even hours away from it actually happening i feel the calmest i have about it in years. I guess the feeling of excitement is just taking over.

Having said that, i do keep having my little moments. I was laid in bed earlier and i went to read an app on my phone that I've been using for the whole of my pregnancy. It gives daily updates of whats happening in the little world of Button. Over the past months i have watched the countdown of days on this app, and it feels like only days ago we were beginning the countdown from 100. When i looked at it earlier, and instead of seeing a number of days remaining i saw the words 'delivery day'... it really hit me! Today is the day i have been focused on for the whole of this year, and its actually here!

I continued to read the daily update on my phone, and got into a little panic when i was reading how 'unbearable' the pain can get etc. I had a little cry and a snuggle with Adam and talked again about my fears and the sort of birth i want him to help me to achieve, and now I'm back to feeling calm again.

I'm also very over-emotional at the moment, i guess its just because i know our lives are about to change so much forever. Its so amazingly exciting, but scary at the same time. We now have the little moses basket in our (newly decorated and carpeted) bedroom! Whenever i turn over in the night and see it there next to my bed it makes me feel tearful. I've been to a couple of shops today too, and felt strangely emotional looking at the tiny clothes. All these months I've been looking at the girls, and the boys clothes and wondering which it'll be, now I'm days from finally knowing!

Whenever i do get these little panics there's always two things i want to do, the first, is to go back and read my very first blog post, or even a previous blog i used to write. It reminds me that i have spent my whole life waiting to be a mummy, and it just fills me with excitement again. The second thing is to visit my new niece. Looking at that little face just shows me exactly why i am doing this. When i had the contractions last week, i went round for a snuggle with her, and while ever i was holding her, i just concentrated on her tiny little frame and it made them seem so much less painful.

All the way through my pregnancy, Adam has been hoping that the baby will be at least a day late, so that its born in September and will therefore be the oldest in the year at school instead of the youngest. He was one of the youngest and he hated it, so its something he feels really strongly about. It is beginning to appear that he may get his wish after all! There is exactly 21.5 hours to go until September, and it doesn't feel like anythings going to be happening any time soon!

I'm booked in at the hospital tomorrow, which is something I'm a little nervous about. I have got a scan at 10:30, so they can have a look and get a rough idea of Buttons size and weight, then a consultation at 11:30 to discuss the results. This is where it will be decided whether i am going to have a Section, be induced, or just have a sweep. One of those things will definitely be happening tomorrow!

Adams coming with me, but I've asked my mum to come along to the consultation too, as an extra pair of ears and extra support. She has had medical training so will probably understand everything they tell me a lot better than i do.

I think its going to feel strange tonight, getting the car seat strapped in, and putting my hospital bag in the boot. Tomorrow morning might be the last time i leave this house before returning with my little pudding :)

I'm really quite nervous about the scan part of tomorrow. It almost feels like waiting to be hung, the fact that i am going to be told in lb and oz what size person i have got to attempt to bring into the world. I'm worried that if they tell me the baby is really big, I'll go back to feeling panicked, and lose my cool.

We nipped to Tesco's tonight, to get a few bits of food in that will last for when i get back from hospital. I saw the most gorgeous baby girl dress! Adam is under strict instructions to go straight out and buy it, ready to bring to the hospital for visiting time if Button is a girl!

So, this probably really will be the last blog post before our baby is finally here, or at least until I'm in labour (I'd like to try and do a short post during the first stage of labour if possible).

I would just like to say a big thank you to all of you out there who have followed me through this journey. I've had amazing support from so many of you. Friends, family and even total strangers sending me messages of support and advice!

I started this blog mainly just as a kind of Diary, so that Adam and I can look back over the experience, and eventually one day, share it with Button too. I never imagined that it would end up being read (and enjoyed) by so many people! I've received over 50 messages from people i don't even know, saying how they are enjoying reading it. I now have readers in over 17 different countries, which seems unreal to me!

I have to say though, if it wasn't for my friend Lizz, these memories would probably have been nothing but a few scribbled notes in a pregnancy and baby book. She's the one who inspired me to do it, as i enjoyed (and still do) reading hers so much!

So, i send my love to all of you! I know this sounds weird but i feel in a way like you've all watched me grow up! Followed me, while i start my journey into motherhood. Well, this is it! I'll see you on the other side!!

XxXxXxXxXxXx

Heat and fat feet! 30+5

I am now heading towards 31 weeks pregnant and Summer has certainly arrived. Its been 33 degrees today, which when your the size of a double Decker bus, is quite a challenge.

So i have officially left work, it feels so strange that I'm not going back for months! I can see there being several occasions where i wake up in a panic thinking I'm late for work! Leaving work has proven quite an emotional experience. I was rather overwhelmed to receive several wonderful gifts and cards from all of my friends ( I'll put pictures on later). I really am going to miss them all. I'm arranging a 'leaving meal' for Friday night, we always have a good time when we all get together so I'm really looking forward to it!

Iv tried to make contact with a few friends to try and arrange some get togethers, but only heard back from one so far, so I'll try sending some messages out on facebook and see what i can do.

Pregnancy-wise there isn't a lot to report at the moment really, baby is still in there, and still wriggling away. The kicks and wriggles are really quite strong now too :)

My feet are beginning to swell which isn't pleasant, and I'm finding it increasingly difficult to get in and out of Adams car unassisted. The sleep situation still isn't brilliant, but at least now i don't have to be getting up for work, so i can pretty much snooze whenever i feel like it.

This week is proving a bit of a challenge as Adams gone to Portugal to referee a huge football tournament, which is a really big deal in his career. There are teams from all over the world, and he's getting to meet some pretty important people, so its really exciting. However, its the longest we have ever been apart and I'm finding it really difficult! He's only been gone for two days and i feel like its been a lifetime. Not that i have ever not valued him, but its really making me realize how much i depend on him, especially at the moment. He's my best friend and I'm feeling completely lost without him. It was quite worrying this morning too, i received some messages from him and he was really not enjoying it to begin with, they weren't feeding him and his accommodation is what can only be compared to that of an animals! I hate knowing that he's being treated badly over there, it makes us being apart even more unbearable. He's text me again this evening though and he seems to be settling in a lot better now. He's done 5 matches today so he's going to be exhausted! Apparently a lot of the Portuguese Referees have left, and most of the Italian ones have gone on strike, so i think they are going to have to really look after the ones who remain! I'm so proud of him and cant wait to have him back, only 5 days to go!

I'm trying to find little things to do each day to keep me busy and stop me getting bored. I had a wander into a little nearby town today and picked up some things for my hospital bag.

* 30 Maternity pads (ew)

*200 nappy bags

* 40 Breast pads

* A roll of cotton wool

I'm just trying to pick up little bits at a time now, but i get paid tomorrow so might be able to pick some more stuff up then. Iv got a nice little pink suitcase, so I'm going to start putting things together tonight.

My mum and I went to a car boot sale yesterday morning and got some incredible bargains!

*An 'I love my bear' moses basket and stand

*Sheets and blankets

*Toys

* Tiny baby vests.

So we are getting more and more prepared now! We had the nursery carpet fitted on Thursday too, it looks beautiful and i cant wait to get everything in there (even though the furniture could be another 10 weeks!) I've got a nice day planned tomorrow, I'm getting up earlyish and heading off to my friends baby shop. I'm going to have a look for some of the things we still need and hopefully have a nice catch up with her. Then I'm heading into town to meet another friend for a drink.

I'll pop more photos on later :)

Love love love xxxx

The end is near. 29+5

Well i have finally come to some decisions. Deciding when to leave work has proven pretty tough for me. I've decided to just do what everyone's telling me to and call it a day. I'm at the hospital for another scan tomorrow, so wont be getting to work until between 12:30-1:30, then I've got two full days, Wednesday and Friday, then two hours on Saturday, then I'm done!

Iv got my three weeks holiday starting on Monday, then my maternity following straight on from the 19th July. I will be 34 weeks pregnant when my maternity starts, so using 6 weeks before my due date, which is a lot more than I'd originally hoped. Two main things I'm trying to focus on though:

1) There is a very high chance that the baby is going to be early, so i might not end up using 6 weeks before the birth anyway.

2) This is the most important time for me to be looking after Button. As nice as it would be to have lots of time with together after he/she is born, its more important that i take care of us now.

I have been looking forward to this time for ages, finally coming to the point where i can finish work for potentially a year, and have lots of exciting time getting things ready, and spending time with my little person. Now its coming down to it, i actual feel quite sad about leaving work. I really do love my job and the people i work with, and I'm just realising I'm going to be spending a lot of time alone over the next few weeks. I'm really going to miss all my friends from work, and i know that some of them aren't going to be there when i get back, which is hard.

I've been thinking a lot over the past few days though, and I've decided that I'm going to try and spend a lot of the time before the baby arrives, visiting friends and seeing people i haven't seen for a long time. I'd like to try and rebuild relationships that have fizzled slightly over the past few years. It would be nice to have plenty of people to spend time with while I'm off, especially as i have a few friends who have babies too. I want to aim to try and get out of the house at least once a day with Button, even if its just for a walk round the village. I plan to do lots of little trips, into town, swimming, to the library and parks etc. It'll be good exercise, and good to socialise and teach Button lots. I don't want to be just stuck at home whenever i can help it.

So, approximately 21 hours of working left, before i officially become a full time mummy :) Exciting/Scary/Amazing times ahead :) xxx

28+6

Its 4:40am and yet again i have been up for well over an hour. I'm at work today though so going to try and get a bit more rest before i go. I do find that when I'm struggling this much to sleep, often i am better to get up for a while and potter about or get something to eat rather than just laying there in bed.

I am nearly 29 weeks pregnant and so much has happened in the past week. I went from work to my usual antenatal appointment with heather on Wednesday at 11am. When i got there i discovered that Heather was off sick, so i had another midwife instead.

I got in, and did the usual blood pressure and urine tests etc. There was still protein in my wee, so it has been sent off to the lab yet again. The midwife listened to the baby and took my blood, then spent a while looking at my growth charts. She was quite concerned and said that i needed to be seen for my growth scan, and to be monitored more closely by the hospital.

I booked another appointment with Heather for three weeks time, and went outside to find out how i was going to get to the hospital. I phoned Adam and my mum to let them know what was happening, mum was going to be at work for a while longer, so Adam came and fetched me. We got to the hospital and headed straight for the scan department. It was lovely to see Button again, we saw all his her tiny little fingers and toes, it was magic!

When we first went into the room the Sonographer asked us if we knew the sex, and we told her we didn't. After a few minutes of scanning she said 'I just need to get a measurement of her legs'. My heart stopped, i looked straight at Adam, wondering if he'd noticed. I waited a few minutes to see if she said anything else, and then i asked her so say (without giving it away) whether she had been able to tell the sex. She said she hadn't looked, so that she wouldn't give anything away, so i assume it was just a passing comment.

She took all measurements and baby seems to be the perfect size, apart from having a slightly tubby little tummy, but nothing above average, and more to the point the head circumference is perfect :D (sigh of relief!)

We came out of the scan, and the sonographer disappeared for a few minutes to make a phone call. She came back and told us that we needed to head down to the Pregnancy Assessment unit.

When we got there, they asked me to lie on the bed, and they strapped two monitors around my bump, they then put a little button in my hand and told me to press it every time i felt the baby move. She left me there for a while, and we could hear Buttons heartbeat and all the kicks and wriggles which was lovely.

We could here Lois, the midwife on the phone just outside our curtain. She made me panic a bit because she was talking about me, and using lots of medical terms that i didn't understand. We then heard her say 'i need a doctor to come and explain everything to the lady and explain why we've got to do it'.

I looked straight at Adam, panic stricken. I had no idea what they were going to do to me and now felt petrified.

Lois came over to us, she sat down at my bedside and put her hand on my leg. She explained that the scan had showed that iv now got a lot of fluid again, and that there were a few tests they had got to do to make sure everything was OK. She said that the doctor was coming to talk to us, and warned me that some of the things that the doctor was going to say to us would sound quite scary, but we should try not to get too worried.

The doctor had a very strong accent, and spoke very quickly, and i was trying so hard to concentrate on everything she said, but really struggled to get my head around a lot of it.

She basically said that because i am measuring at 7 weeks ahead of what i should be, and because my 'fluid levels' were at the limit i am now at risk of premature delivery, as the membranes could just give, so basically my waters could break at any time. At this point, i was trying to digest all of this, but the doctor went on to say there are other risks, such as my cord could drop low down and i could end up having to have an emergency cesarean. (Which has always been one of my biggest fears). I was told that I'm going to be very closely monitored from now on, with extra consultations and scans every couple of weeks.

I had to go back on Friday for a series of other tests. They have tested for gestational diabetes, TB, Toxomaplosis, Rubella, Common colds and some other bits and bobs, and general infections. I had to do a 14 hour starve, and have a further two blood tests! So i am now awaiting all of these results, as well as my urine ones too!

I now have another scan booked in for next Tuesday to monitor how things are going.

After speaking to several people, we have come to the decision that it would be in mine and babies best interests to bring my maternity leave forwards. Which i really didn't want to do, as id rather have more time with the baby at the end, but i have been rightly reminded that now is the most important time for me, and the baby, to make sure we are both as healthy as possible, and its more important for me to ensure that every things going right now. So i am meeting with Shawna today, and possibly making my last day 15th July, instead of 3rd August. Two weeks of that is holiday so its still not massively early, just more than i had originally planned.

Its 5:35 now and I'm going to try and get another hour and a half sleep before work. I'm hoping its going to be a calmer Tuesday than usual though, as we have only got one clinic running, compared with the usual three.

They are really looking after me at work now, and making sure i spend the majority of time sitting down to take the pressure off my bump.

So in conclusion, I'm feeling very strange after the weeks events, i cant believe that the baby could literally make an appearance at any time! When i think of it like that i feel so unprepared. I'm going to make a start on getting my hospital bag ready now just in case. We went to the hospital last night for an antenatal class (which wasn't on!) and were given a tour round the birthing suites. They are lovely and have made me feel more excited about the big day.

I'll make sure i keep you all up to date with any news!

Love love love xxx

Who needs sleep? 27 +3

Well, its 5:15 and i am sitting here apparently physically unable to sleep any longer, even though i didn't settle down until 1am, and have already been awake for an hour! This however though, is considered a very successful night!

We are currently on our final morning of our little holiday to Norfolk, which i want to talk a little bit about, as it is our final holiday without having our miniature human with us. (Obviously Buttons with us, but currently not causing us a great deal of trouble.)

We set off at about 5:30 on Wednesday night and arrived at about 8:30. We had pizza and chips and a catch up with my dad, and his girlfriend Sue and then chilled in front of the telly for a while. I got a little overheated so headed out onto the balcony with a drink and one of my pregnancy books which was beautifully relaxing.

That night i hardly slept at all. which was a difficult result to say i was in one of the comfiest beds iv experienced for a long time. I was wide awake until about 5:15am (as was Adam, trying to help get me to sleep bless him) and i finally nodded off, but was tossing and turning before waking again at 8am.

There was a problem this month with my pay, it was the first month of me being activated on a new payroll, and there had been a problem which meant that i didn't get paid when i should have done, last Friday. However, i had been promised that i would receive the money by Thursday, so we'd set off to Norfolk penniless ( Abi had to bring us as we didn't even have the money for petrol).

I had been told on the phone that work had been battling to ensure my pay would be in by Thursday, otherwise it would be an additional 10 days! When we all got up on Thursday morning i checked my account and there was still nothing in it. I usually contribute largely towards the mortgage and bills, and so Adam had paid everything out of his account, which left that empty too. We then both had direct debits taken out, which left us both overdrawn, so we will both be getting bank charges. I ended up in tears, as i thought we were going to spend the entire holiday not able to do a thing. Dad and Sue were out at work, we were only be going to see them in the evenings, so we would have literally been stuck in the house with nothing to do. I checked the bank again at 12pm and there was still nothing in there. I decided we might as well have a walk to the seaside, even if it only ended up being literally a walk. Abi had got a bit of money that she said she could lend us, but i was worrying that any money we could borrow should probably used for the final bills which will be coming out on Monday, rather than ice cream and arcade games.

It took about 40 minutes to drive to the Sherringham, we walked for a few minutes before heading to the nearest cash point. Thankfully, my money had gone in just after 1pm, which has meant that we have finally been able to enjoy the last few days of our time off worry free.

We pottered in and out of a few seaside gift shops and bought a little picnic from a local bakery. We then headed down and ate our lunch on the seafront. The weather was beautiful!

We walked around for the rest of the afternoon pottering in and out of shops and soaking up the seaside atmosphere hand in hand, before heading back to dads.

We had a delicious steak for dinner, and then piled into the car and headed out, dad was treating us to a trip to a 'cinema with a difference'. We arrived at an old fashioned looking building at around 8pm, it was beautifully decorated inside, with old stone walls and mahogany counters. We collected our sweets, and tickets for 'Pirates of the Caribbean 4' and headed into the bar. After a few minutes we took our drinks, (which was a pint of larger in the cases of dad, Adam and Abi), and headed into the theatre with our 3D glasses. It was a tiny little room, unlike any Odeon. Adams pick 'n' mix had vanished by about the third trailer!

I think Button got a bit over excited by the exciting music that accompanied the film, as he/she was bopping about all over the place in there!

We got back at about 11:30, dad and Sue headed off to bed and the three of us sat in the lounge with a drink for a little while. I slept amazingly well, and got about 7 solid hours, which is a total record from over the past few weeks!

We got up yesterday morning at 9:30 and headed out at

about 11. We drove into Norwich city centre for a wander around the shops which was lovely. The first shop i saw when we heading into the centre was a giant Mother care! We spent ages in there. There were some beautiful things. It was lovely to see Adam (and Abi) getting excited over tiny little outfits.

One outfit that i have been admiring for a while, is a little 'Humphrey's corner' dress. It isn't cheap, but i have decided that if Buttons a girl, and they still stock it by the time she arrives, mummy will definitely be treating her to it!

We walked around the shops for a couple of hours, before setting off to spend the rest of the afternoon in Great Yarmouth. When we arrived there, we had a game of 18 hole Pirate themed Crazy Golf, which was amazingly fun and took quite some time to complete! Button got quite competitive!

We then walked around the amusements for a couple of hours. Adam won £15 on a fruit machine and Abi and I got hooked on a duck-themed 2p machine, and won 3 rubber ducks and one fluffy duck, for Button.

It was past 5pm by this time so we nipped across to a stall, Adam got a giant ice cream, i got a Slush and Abi got a Hot Chocolate and we headed back to the car.

We got back to Dad and Sue and had another lovely meal with them before chilling out on the sofa for a couple of hours. We said our goodbyes to dad at about 9:45, and they headed off for an early night, as he was out for work at 4 this morning. At 10:10 Adam and I decided to head out for a romantic stroll to check out the little local pubs in the village. We walked for about half an hour and then found a lovely little pub with a live band, and pretty lights outside. We bought drinks and sat out and chatted about our plans for the near future.

After some lovely long conversations about money, parenting and labour etc we headed across to a kebab shop over the road and got Adam some supper, (which i happily stole half of).

We got completely lost on the way back and ended up wandering around chatting for around and extra 45 minutes! We headed off to bed when we got back, and Adam read his 'A blokes Guide to Pregnancy' book for a while.

I'm not sure yet what we are doing today, i was hoping to build sandcastles at some point, but the weathers not looking too sparkling. On our way home later, we're calling in at Grantham to see my Grandparents, who we very rarely get to see these days. I think we're having dinner there. Adams been tracking our family tree, and has managed to get back to 1550, so he's very much looking forward to long discussions with my Grandad.

I don't know how last nights lack of sleep is going to affect me today, I'm feeling pretty exhausted, and its still only 6:15 so i might head back to bed and see if i can grab another hour, although at least I've got the 3 hour car ride to possibly get some rest this afternoon.

I really am starting to worry about going back to work now though. 2-3 hours sleep a night isn't such an issue when i can rest throughout the day, but I'm dreading how I'm going to feel adding a full time job onto that amount of sleep deprivation. I also now weigh approximately the same as 12 double Decker buses, so I'm having to rest after every few steps at the moment, and I'm finding myself a little breathless at times too.

I'm trying to keep a positive mind with the work thing though, after all, i love my job and the people i work with and its only another 7 weeks of actual work! I'm sure it'll fly by. I'm still quite glad about the choices iv made regarding my maternity leave. I'll be working right up to 36 weeks, using two weeks holidays and then starting maternity at 38 weeks! Which means I'll have lots of time with Button when he/she is here.

Just to confuse everyone, I'm now going to take my blog post back to Wednesday afternoon, before we set off on our little Holiday. We spent most of the afternoon at the hospital for our two appointments. I had my Physiotherapy first, which was useful in some ways, as i was given bump support bands and exercises to try, but i didn't really gain as much as I'd hoped for. I got no answers about the RLS, and no answers really as to what can help with all the pain, but hopefully if i persist with the exercises, they'll help to ease it in the long run.

Secondly we had the all important visit to the hospital midwives, to get my bump remeasured. Bare in mind that two weeks previous, i had been measured at 29-30 weeks, i am now measuring at 35! It was another different midwife today, who confirmed that my tummy muscles are 'incredibly strong' and so therefore its hard to feel where the baby is. She did however manage to tell us the position of the head, which is still incredibly low.

She decided that it is probably for the best that we arrange a growth scan, to see if Button really is a little porker, or if I'm gaining lots of fluid, or if its just a generally big bump. She said one of the main concerns could be that I'm developing/have developed Gestational diabetes, so its quite important that we get everything checked out. It'll be lovely to see the baby again anyway, as long as the sex isn't revealed!

The midwife told me that id be receiving a phone call with my appointment for the scan, as they couldn't fit me in that afternoon. Shortly after we left, i had a phone call asking if we could make it on Friday, when i explained that we were away she said she'd try for another appointment and call me back, which she hasn't done. I'll give them a ring on Monday morning and chase it up.

Well, this has probably been one of my longest ever posts! Its now 6:31 so at least iv killed some time of being up alone. One positive thing about the lack of sleep is that i definately feel i'll be ready for all the night feeds, i'll be pretty used to only having a couple of hours a night by the time Buttons here!

I'm going to attempt to get comfy and sleep a little bit longer now, as i imagine Adam and Abi will probably snooze for another couple of hours yet.

Love love love,

Mummy Elce and Baby Button xxx

24+3

I actually can’t believe how fast time is going. It’s actually getting scary. So, we are now 24 weeks and three days pregnant, and Button (according to magazines etc) will be about 14 inches long! Our pregnancy is now 'Viable'! Which means that if little Elce was born now, there would be a chance of survival, and each day from now on, that chance will be greater. Still, fingers crossed they will carry on cooking for now!
While we're on the subject of early births, I still can’t help but feel a little paranoid that there may be indications of Button arriving early. I’m getting really distressed by the number of people telling me my bump is strangely low. Its approx 7-8 people a day! Even patients at work! Its really beginning to feel like something’s not right. They might as well be walking up to me and saying 'Hi, your bump looks worrying abnormal'! That, along with the fact that baby’s head was so low at the scan, my bump getting big quickly and a few other more recent premature symptoms im really starting to doubt my due date. I've got an appointment with Heather (my midwife) on Wednesday though so im going to ask her about it all and hopefully get some reassurance :)
Iv started making a book for Button. I've spent hours on it and im really proud of how its going (although I think there’s a few printing issues with it I need to look at). It’s full of photos and information on different family members, how I and Adam got together, our wedding etc. As a nice little keepsake to show Button where he/she came from. Im hoping to be finishing it and sending it to print within the next couple of days.

Buttons really active now, Adams felt his first kick and my tummy is moving around loads. Some kicks are even a bit uncomfortable, but i dont mind. Its lovely having little reminders that they are ok in there. Im starting to notice a bit of a pattern of when the baby is awake and asleep. I always get kicks when i first wake up, and as i settle down in the evening, often a little bit of movement after lunch and in the early afternoon, and lots of movement on the bus home! (I think thats Button looking forward to seeing daddy :) ).
Theres lots of wriggling going on in there right now :)

Some factors of pregnancy have become less than pleasant over the past few weeks. I now have really bad stretch marks that seem to be taking over the whole of my stomach, they itch like mad and are really frustrating. I've been applying Bio Oil twice a day for months, but they are still really bad. If they look like this at the moment, i bet i'll be covered by the time baby is actually here.
Iv been struggling alot with back and leg pain still. I should be going for physio at some point next week, so maybe this will help, but its really getting painful.
Sleep is becomming a thing of the past, which everyone is saying its to 'prepare me for when the babys here', but i have literally been sat in tears at 3am because im almost going full nights with no sleep, then having to face a full day at work. Its just frustrating because it doesnt seem to be one particular thing thats keeping me awake, just general discomfort, aches and to much thinking i think. Iv tried alsorts, nice warm bath and a massage from my sister before bed, trying to really wind down, but nothing seems to work. I seem to be back to an average of 5 toilet get-ups a night too, which doesnt help. So if anyone has any advice, please feel free to comment.
Its funny really, id always thought that i just havent recieved any comments on here, but i found them all the other day, quite a lot of them, that i had never noticed, so if you have ever commented on a post, i didnt mean to ignore you!

Another thing thats bothering me at the moment is the fact that iv got to start making some serious birth decisions. Its the hardest possible thing to do. I dont know how your supposed to make such huge decisions about something, when you have no clue what its going to be like or how your going to cope. It isnt lack of thinking about it either, i must think about labour approximately 20 times a day! And its what i spend most of my time awake at night thinking about too. I've just got all these thoughts whizzing round my head, water births, epidurals, pethedine, gas and air, active birth, positions, birthing balls, caesareans, and episiotomy. It’s all driving me a little mad! I feel like its going to be some of the biggest decisions of my life, something I don’t want to be getting wrong!

Adam, Button and I went out for a lovely meal on Monday night, thanks to Abi and Paul buying us some meal vouchers for Christmas. We spent the evening at Il Rosso in Mansfield and thoroughly enjoyed the quality time together to discuss our current situation. We talked about money, the house and what sort of parents we want to be. It was really lovely chatting about it with him. It made me feel even more excited because we both seem to have the same views on parenting.

I'm feeling quite optimistic about my remaining time at work now too. I've got 9 days of actual work left before a week off with monkey for our wedding anniversary!!! (How fast that’s gone!) then I have four weeks at work, then another week off, then four weeks back then I finish! It’s just nice to know that i've only got four weeks in one go before I can chill out and prepare for my baby.
On the cravings front, we're very much back on fruit juice! I am almost getting through a carton a day, which I don’t suppose is a bad thing really; there are much worse things to crave.

More exciting news, we think Button may have a name! We'd pretty much chosen our boys name a while ago, as it was literally the only boys name we could agree that we both liked. We have been struggling to decide between two girls names that we really like, but I think we may have come to a decision!

So, things are going well, im still loving every second of pregnancy, even though it feels like a pretty unattractive, and often quite painful period of my life. I know this baby will be worth every little ache and every stretch mark that’s going to come my way!
Here is an updated bump photo, taken just before we left for our lovely meal, 23+5 :)

Almost half way..

Well, its 18:13 and I'm sat here, in Adams pajama bottoms and his 'Grouchy Smurf'' T shirt. Been feeling really poorly lately. It started really badly in the middle of the night on Sunday. My chest keeps going tight, and i struggle to breathe. Iv been really achy all over and having hot and cold flushes. Iv had really bad pain in my head, neck and face too. If i lean forwards it literally feels like my face is going to fall off. Three doctors later and iv been diagnosed with:

* A Virus

* Sinusitis

* Chest infection

So I'm back on steroid inhalers on a regular basis, antibiotics and regular paracetamol. I hate taking things because of Button, but they've told me its all 100% safe.

I struggled a lot last week with pain in my legs. I had a long, busy week at work and i felt like they were hardly going to take my weight anymore by the end of it. Iv pretty much been prepared to have pretty bad leg pain. Iv had trouble all of my life with wonky bones, had lots of physiotherapy and i was supposed to wear straps up my legs to help straighten me out, i never really wore them though and i think i will now pay the price for that. Iv got to go for extra hospital consultations because of all my problems.

I didn't quite expect to be suffering this much so early on though. If its this much pain now, i dread to think what I'll be like in another 10 weeks +.

I have been off work so far this week, and literally just spent the three days resting, with my feet up, drinking lots and trying to get back to my normal self. It doesn't seem to be happening to quickly though.

I cant actually believe I'm almost half way through the pregnancy. Its going scarily fast, and it still feels like we've got so much to do.

Iv been feeling much stronger movements over the past two days, which is a nice little reminder that Buttons OK. I think the more i relax, the more i feel.

On a really happy note, we were going out for my brother in laws birthday meal last Thursday night. I was really looking forward to it, but i was a bit disappointed because iv only got one maternity dress, and i feel like iv worn it a million times over the past couple of months.

I got home, and started searching for anything that would fit. Adam arrived home later, came upstairs smirking, held my hand and led me to the living room. He'd laid out a beautiful new outfit. Maternity top, trousers, shoes, bag, necklace and a flower for my hair! It was sooo sweet, and it all matched! The best part, was an early mothers day card from Button :) I'll upload a picture in a minute.

Its a week today until our next scan, I'm having to work really hard to convince myself that i want a surprise! Sometimes i feel so desperate to know!

Iv started being a little brave too, iv been watching a programme which shows real life births. Iv sat through 3 episodes now. I'm still not sure whether its the best thing to do, as i do occasionally have a bit of a 'freak out', but i just want to feel as prepared as possible. I find it helpful to see how they talk to you, and what the options are etc.

The ring of ugh!

For the past few days i thought id been getting bad outbreaks of eczema on my arms and chest, its been driving me mad. I woke up this morning, the patches were itching more than ever and seemed to have spread. They had gone really dark round the outside, like an exact line around the edge, and my neck was starting to swell and itch. I got ready for work and had to battle the urge to scratch on the bus. I popped into the pharmacy when i first got there and they backed up my suspicion that it was possibly 'ringworm' (which sounds disgusting but doesn't actually involve worms at all). When i got to work, Shawna phoned the doctor and i pretty much turn straight back round and got back on the bus. Dr Allen confirmed that it is ringworm, and its contagious but not dangerous. He prescribed me some cream, and said its at the discretion of management at work whether or not i return. The decision was made that i should take the rest of today off, but return tomorrow morning.
I have had 6 baths today to try and soothe the rashes (which seem to have been popping up fast). I don't see working like this being much fun but I'll just have to do my best. I'm wearing a black polo top to cover the majority of the infection, to stop me scratching, and so that patients don't see it.
I was supposed to be going swimming with my mum tonight too, which i was really looking forward to :(
Just to add to the discomfort, heartburn is welcoming itself into the equation now too! Iv woken up in the night with it pretty bad a few times over the past week. Maybe Button will be a little Fluff nut :)
Had some really exciting family news tonight too which has cheered me up no end! Don't think i ought to say what it is yet, but i will definitely be able to within the next couple of weeks! Very exciting!
Iv bought a couple of pregnancy and baby magazines tonight, so I'm going to snuggle up in bed and have a good old read in a minute :)
I literally don't seem to be able to read enough baby info! With the Magazines i got a free car sun shade (with a sunshine and a crab on!), a book of baby names, a 'Maisey story' (which i loved as a child) and a few catalogues, so plenty to be looking through!

I'm glad im finally getting more chance to blog now. I think the motivation of how many people are reading it is really pushing me too! My stats have reached over 2000 now!

Nighty night
Love 'mummy moose' and 'baby Button' xxx

Exciting stuff!

I woke up on Friday morning (after a not so good nights sleep) with the most intense feeling of butterflies in my stomach. It felt quite similar to the morning of our wedding. We had a nice snuggle, and each set off for work. I nipped into Subway for a quick breakfast, i was almost bouncing off the walls with excitement! I only had to work for about 40 minutes before i headed off for the train station. I had a wee before i left work, and decided that would be my last one. I sat on the train, sipping my litre bottle of water, trying to decide how many photos we should buy of Button, they were £2.50 each, so i though we could spend about £15 and get 6 photos. I got off the train at about 10:35, our appointment wasn't until 11:30, so i headed up to college to meet Adam at work. The walk made me realise that i was actually quite desperate for a wee. I kept thinking, last time we went we were kept waiting for about 30 minutes after our appointment time. I didn't think i could wait a potential hour, and then have someone pressing on my tummy, so i went to the loo at 10:45!! :/

I then started guzzling the rest of my water, and when we got to the waiting area i managed to down about an extra 4 cups too. We were called it pretty much bang on time, and i couldn't get in that room quick enough, Adam gave me a kiss and a little squeeze on my hand and i hopped up onto the bed. The lady said she needed to find the baby first, then she would turn the screen so i could have a look. Adam was staring straight at the screen, gripping onto my hand. I stared straight at his face to see his first reaction. Pretty much as soon as she touched my tummy Adam gasped and his whole face lit up. She turned the screen and i saw button straight away. My eyes filled up instantly and i looked back at Adam, he was welling up too. Buttons a total wriggler! The little legs we kicking all over. The lady drew a line from the top of Buttons head to its bottom, and told me i was 13 weeks and two days, and baby was just over 7cm long! We sat watching the screen, amazed! Then the best thing ever happened, baby turned its head towards us, stuck its arm in the air and wiggled its hand! 'Its waving at us!' i shouted, crying even more! As she moved further over my tummy we saw these two long bits, at first i though one was the cord, but then we noticed properly formed feet at the end! I couldn't believe it! Iv never seen legs like that on a scan photo! The little heart was fluttering nice and strongly too! It was the best feeling in the world! I could have laid there forever and watched our tiny baby on that screen! We asked for 6 photos, and she only charged us £10 for them. Iv literally spent the past two days staring at it. Iv got it as my wallpaper on my phone, and my display picture on facebook. Its soo nice for everyone to finally know, and us not have to worry about keeping quiet!

We've both been on cloud 9 since Friday, we went for a celebration dinner last night, and possibly even found a boys name! That's made things seem really exciting, i thought we were never going to find a compromise. We both really like it, so with a bit of luck, we may be almost sorted for names. We've still got two girls names we are deciding between!

So its been a magical few days! Everything feels so real now :)

I'm absolutely besotted! :)

xxxxxxxxx

Eeeeek! Buttons got a little Button nose!

Best day yet!!!

Oh my goooodness! I am absolutely on a high!! Firstly, i had my First driving lesson last week, and did amazingly! I was driving all around Meden Vale, loads more confidently than I'd expected! John (Instructor) said that he would quite like me to drive to Worksop this week if i feel up to it! (And I'm not one to turn down a challenge!).
Secondly, i managed to finally get a date for our 12 weeks scan, This Friday at 11:15 (I'll be 13 weeks by then). I've been feeling so nervous about it, just wanting to know that everything is OK.
I had my midwife appointment today, i went into work for an hour and a half, and then caught the bus back and met Adam at the surgery. I hadn't had a wee for 2 hours, so i was convinced my sample would be much less embarrassing than the last two I'd attempted. Kelly's appointment was straight after ours, and as we were over half an hour late going in, we got chance to catch up with her in the waiting area for a while, which was lovely!
When we finally got called in, i did my wee sample (which was majorly impressive i might add!), had my blood pressure checked, went through my blood results etc. Apparently my blood group is A positive, and i have a really good blood count of 14.5. (Honestly, i have no idea what this means!). Heather said, the higher your count is to start with, the more exhausted you get when the baby starts stealing their share! So that very much explains my constant exhaustion! Heather then asked if we wanted to hear the baby's heartbeat!! I squealed and practically leaped onto the bed! She rolled my top up, and but jelly on my tummy, then started to press. It felt like forever, and i thought she was going to give up trying at one point. I was concentrating so hard on her face, trying to tell whether she was panicking or not. I couldn't look at Adam, i think i would have cried, Heather did look a bit worried at one point. After several heart stopping moments we heard it, as clear as anything. It was the best feeling in the world, and has made it all feel so much more real! After being given my proper 'Bounty pack' full of leaflets and brochures etc, and lots of snuggles with Adam, i headed back to work. We had a lovely afternoon at work, it was really busy so the time flew. I got a text on my dinner break from 'Gala Bingo'. We have only ever been there once before and had quite a good time. The text was to tell me that there was an offer on tonight, you could play all night for £5. I quite fancied a night out with Adam so i text him and suggested it. I had a really funny feeling that we ought to go, so i rang Adam after work and said i thought we should, it would be fun. We got a drink and some dinner once we were there and settled down for a couple of games. We won 3 games and a total of £160! Well worth the visit! :D
I am feeling so much better about Fridays scan after hearing that little heartbeat today, and i have a funny feeling I'm going to have sweet dreams tonight! :)

Pooorlyish :(

I haven't been very well these past few days. Ended up rushing to an emergency doctor on Friday due to a referral i had from work for having blood in my ear. I seem to be being taken over by nasty infections :(
We stayed at mums on Saturday night, so that i could get to work on Sunday, it was really nice as Abi (my sister) and Paul were over from Norfolk, so it gave us a lot of time together which we don't get very often. After tea, Adam and Paul sat at the table with their laptops talking about football and boys stuff. Me, Mum and Abi went and sat in the living room and had a really detailed conversation about childbirth. It was really nice to ask all my questions, and its made me feel a great deal better. It made me realise i was actually quite naive about the whole thing, and need to stop believing everything i see on TV.
I woke up feeling awful on Sunday morning, i kept having really hot flushes, where i would literally break into a sweat, and i had a really bad headache. I managed to get through my three hour shift at work, and got back to mums to a beautiful Sunday dinner, my step sister Claire, her husband Liam and my little niece Emilie came to join us. It was really nice to have everyone together. Almost as soon as id finished my pudding i felt really sick, and could barely keep my eyes open. So i excused myself and went upstairs to lie down. I only planned to rest for about 20 minutes but ended up being there for well over an hour, i then had to force myself to get up.
I was quite poorly in the night last night, waking up in hot sweats and shivering etc so iv had to have the day off today, which i hate doing.
I am managing to control the pain and temperature with paracetamol, but i don't even like taking them. Iv slept loads today so hopefully I'll shake it off pretty quick because i have got to go to work tomorrow!
According to one of my apps, our baby is now the size of a 'green olive'!! Why its specifically a green one, i don't know!
We officially have not agreed on one single boys name as of yet! We've been through thousands and just don't agree at all. We have two girls names which we both love, so its just a matter of choosing which we want to go with. We even have a middle name chosen for a little girl!

Bump is still pretty huge, and has got even more solid! Will put another picture on within the next few days!

Love love love xxx