7 Months!

I cant believe it's been a whole month since i last posted! I apologize for my failure as a blogger!

I have just realised that i never really wrote anything about my operation after i had it. To sum it up in a word, it was awful.
I have actually been meaning to put in a complaint against the surgeon, but i barely have a minute to go to the toilet never mind pour my heart out in a letter to the NHS.
There were several things he said during my unfortunate time in his company which were both offensive and incredibly unprofessional. I was completely disgusted. To add to the annoyance, he looked (and acted) about 12, yet had a forest of chest hair that could have homed several small animals!
This annoyed me. They have to wear hair net thingys, so why was he allowed to have all that on display?? Grr, the guy annoyed me from the second he greeted me with the words 'So, we're here to improve your sex life are we?' Which was said incredibly loudly in front of a waiting room full of people. (Mainly old ladies) so it certainly raised an eyebrow or two.
I was furious. I dread to think what everyone around us thought. He made it sound like I'd chosen to go in, for some funky cosmetic procedure, when in actual fact, i was almost passing out with nerves, and shouldn't have had to be there at all.
This is what annoys me. I shouldn't have had to go through all of this. Most normal people, give birth and are fully recovered around 6 months later. It has taken me 7 months to be almost back to normal, and not in pain. I have spent Isabelle's life struggling to sit down, or even walk at times, all because of a mistake made by them. This was just one of many comments he made which upset me, including a very personal comment after the operation, for which he could probably be in trouble for sexual harassment!
I had no idea i was going to be in so much pain after the operation. My whole body ached. I felt like my insides had been punched repeatedly, my throat was sore from the tubes and i could hardly move. It took a couple of weeks before i felt human again.

Finally, i seem to pretty much be back to normal. Adam was hoping to try for baby number two this coming Christmas, but i won't have long since recovered from having Isabelle so i think we may need to re plan that!

Isabelle is doing amazingly! She has taken so well to food and is certainly thriving now! Her hair has grown loads and she's put on 1lb 5oz in three weeks!! We can tell she's getting a lot stronger now too! She sits really well, and loves to be on her feet, she's been doing lots of rolling from her back to her tummy over the past few days too!
She seems to make new sounds every day! She's very talkative and we love to hear all the funny little noises she comes out with.
She's recently begun to show shyness around people she doesn't know very well. She's always smiled at anyone and everyone, and still does the majority of the time, but she definitely shows signs of nerves around unfamiliar faces.
She gets really excited every time she sees or hears my mum, if she hears her on the phone she grins and starts chattering herself. If she sees her in person she throws her arms out and practically launches herself out of my arms towards her Grandma.
She absolutely loves books. We can spend hours sitting and reading stories, and looking at and discussing pictures. She especially loves touchy feely books, and know where all of the feely bits are on every page!
I am really struggling to believe that our tiny little girl is 7 months old today! The past 7 months have certainly been the best adventure of my life. That beautiful girl is my world. I would do anything for her and i intend to spend my life showing her what a miracle she is to us and how much we adore her.

I go back to work in exactly a weeks time. I had sort of been looking forward to it a bit, yet dreading it at the same time. I am now going through a phase of feeling utterly sick about the whole thing. I work with some fantastic people, and I'm sure I'll get straight back into it and love it again once I'm back, but at the moment I'm dreading it. I just cant imagine spending full days without being able to see that beautiful, smiley little face that brightens my day. I know I'm going to find it a lot harder than she will, it really is going to break my heart.
She's only going into a nursery for 5 hours a week, as my mum and sister are having her the rest of the time. I think the nursery will be good for her, however I'm glad its only for a short period each week.
Just lately. she's started doing the most heart breaking little cry every time i leave the room, she sticks her bottom lip out and everything, its unbearable. I just know that if she does that the first time i have to leave her next week, I'll be crying my way to work.
I just hope that my return to work doesn't mean i end up missing things. I have completely loved watching her learn and grow over the past 7 months, and i want to be there to see the first time she crawls, and her first steps etc.


I know every mother thinks the world of her child, but i literally cant explain my feelings for Isabelle.
She may have only been in my life for 7 months, but i cant imagine my life without her.

Love love love xxx

Almost half way..

Well, its 18:13 and I'm sat here, in Adams pajama bottoms and his 'Grouchy Smurf'' T shirt. Been feeling really poorly lately. It started really badly in the middle of the night on Sunday. My chest keeps going tight, and i struggle to breathe. Iv been really achy all over and having hot and cold flushes. Iv had really bad pain in my head, neck and face too. If i lean forwards it literally feels like my face is going to fall off. Three doctors later and iv been diagnosed with:

* A Virus

* Sinusitis

* Chest infection

So I'm back on steroid inhalers on a regular basis, antibiotics and regular paracetamol. I hate taking things because of Button, but they've told me its all 100% safe.

I struggled a lot last week with pain in my legs. I had a long, busy week at work and i felt like they were hardly going to take my weight anymore by the end of it. Iv pretty much been prepared to have pretty bad leg pain. Iv had trouble all of my life with wonky bones, had lots of physiotherapy and i was supposed to wear straps up my legs to help straighten me out, i never really wore them though and i think i will now pay the price for that. Iv got to go for extra hospital consultations because of all my problems.

I didn't quite expect to be suffering this much so early on though. If its this much pain now, i dread to think what I'll be like in another 10 weeks +.

I have been off work so far this week, and literally just spent the three days resting, with my feet up, drinking lots and trying to get back to my normal self. It doesn't seem to be happening to quickly though.

I cant actually believe I'm almost half way through the pregnancy. Its going scarily fast, and it still feels like we've got so much to do.

Iv been feeling much stronger movements over the past two days, which is a nice little reminder that Buttons OK. I think the more i relax, the more i feel.

On a really happy note, we were going out for my brother in laws birthday meal last Thursday night. I was really looking forward to it, but i was a bit disappointed because iv only got one maternity dress, and i feel like iv worn it a million times over the past couple of months.

I got home, and started searching for anything that would fit. Adam arrived home later, came upstairs smirking, held my hand and led me to the living room. He'd laid out a beautiful new outfit. Maternity top, trousers, shoes, bag, necklace and a flower for my hair! It was sooo sweet, and it all matched! The best part, was an early mothers day card from Button :) I'll upload a picture in a minute.

Its a week today until our next scan, I'm having to work really hard to convince myself that i want a surprise! Sometimes i feel so desperate to know!

Iv started being a little brave too, iv been watching a programme which shows real life births. Iv sat through 3 episodes now. I'm still not sure whether its the best thing to do, as i do occasionally have a bit of a 'freak out', but i just want to feel as prepared as possible. I find it helpful to see how they talk to you, and what the options are etc.