Happy Christmas!

It's Isabelle's first Christmas Eve today, and we have so much to do to make sure its the most magical day ever tomorrow! Adam's gone to Arnold to pick up one of her presents, and taken her with him, to give me a chance to get some more wrapping done.
I'm going to make sure we take a million photos and film as much of her first Christmas as possible!
We had a little mini Christmas last night. My dad lives in Norfolk but came over to my grandparents for the night. We had a Chinese and then exchanged presents. Isabelle's got some lovely things already :) I think we're going to have to get an extension on the house by the end of this year!!
Isabelle's got her first stage performance this afternoon!! She's Jesus in a nativity play! I've got to stand and sing Silent Night without getting teary whilst watching my baby be the star of the show! I cant wait!

I wanted to send a message to all my followers out there. I wanted to thank you for your support and interest in my blog over the past year. I can't believe almost a whole year has gone by! It was boxing day/ my 21st Birthday last year when we found out we were having our beautiful baby. The year has flown by, and now she's here, all ready for her first Christmas and more beautiful than we ever could have imagined.
I want to thank each and every one of you for following me on this amazing journey of 2011! I never imagined that I'd have so many readers from all over the world, I'm sure that will mean a lot to Isabelle when she's older too!
I hope you all have a Christmas as magical as i know mine will be.

Here's to love, laughter and a happy ever after :)

Merry Christmas everyone!! xxx

Almost full term! 36+5

It feels so good to finally be blogging again. We moved back to our own house a couple of Saturdays ago, and have been without the internet until now. It’s good to be back, albeit slightly strange spending so much time alone. We’ve done a lot of work on the house while we’ve been away, with huge thanks to my family. It really has felt like a fresh start coming back, so many things are different. Its almost like a new house. We’ve got a really big kitchen, and I guess we’ve never really made the most of it until now. We’ve moved a few things around and it is now a Kitchen/Diner. I’ve been desperate for a long time to have a proper dining room, especially now we’re going to have a family. Its not that we haven’t had the room to have one before, we’ve got a spare couple of rooms in the house to play with, but they layout of the place just makes it difficult. Throughout my childhood meal times were always very much a family event. A time where everyone gets together around the table and talks about their day, and that’s the way I like it. I’m not a fan of meals on a tray in front of the TV, at least, not all of the time.
So we now have a decent sized kitchen, and full dining table. I’m really excited about it as Adam and I have already shared some lovely meals (and chats) at the table together. It also means we can have people around for dinner, with somewhere to seat them!
There is still plenty to do here, which is good as I always have something I can be doing. My energy levels have taken a serious dip over the past week again though. There have been a couple of days where I literally haven’t done anything, which I hate. It feels wrong to have full days without getting anything done, when there is so much to do, but my body just hasn’t allowed it. For the first few weeks of my Holiday and Maternity leave, I was going out almost every day, walking round town, shopping etc. I don’t have the energy to do that at all now. In fact, there are things that we need for which I really should be taking a trip into town, and I just don’t feel like it at all. I’ve spent every weekday at home for the past week.
One very exciting thing that has happened lately is our nursery furniture arriving. It arrived last Monday which really was a highlight of the pregnancy. I asked Adam if he would mind using a days holiday, as we didn’t know what time it was being delivered, and I knew that if it came early in the morning I would struggle to wait until 5:30 to be able to do anything with it. It arrived at 2pm. Adam was incredible and managed to carry the whole lot single handed up two flights of stairs! I knew there probably wouldn’t be a great deal I could do, as I’m useless with instructions but I wanted to be a part of it. I grabbed a giant cushion and parked myself on the floor in the corner of the nursery. It became my job to open each little packet of screws, nuts and bolts etc and arrange them ready to pass to Adam when he needed them. I took several photos during the afternoon which I thought would be nice to look back on, and to show Button when he/she is older. At the end of last week I dropped my phone ( only about 2.5 feet onto soft carpet) and it has totally broken. It may just be the screen but I cant do anything with it. I’ve been given a temporary one to use incase I go into labour but all of my photos, videos, contacts etc were saved to the phone not the SIM. So I am praying that I’ll be able to recover them once I get a new IPhone.
Once all of the furniture was assembled, we had a break to cool down. It was a red hot day and Adam was feeling very achy. I cooked us a nice meal and then we decided to go for a swim to cool us down. We didn’t do a great deal of actual swimming in the pool, we just hovered about in a corner and talked for ages. It was really nice. We decided we both wanted to try the nursery layout a different way around, and had loads of discussions on parenting, family, plans for Christmas and finances. The swimming pool is at the leisure club where we had our wedding reception, so it’s always nice for us to have a drink in there after a swim, so we continued our chat at the bar.
We didn’t leave until about 10pm, but by this point we were buzzing about the nusery again and there is no way either of us could have waited until the following evening to play about with it. Adam moved the furniture into the new layout that we’d discussed and straight away we both loved it. There is only one down side to that room. We have chosen the smallest of the spare rooms as the nursery, as Adam said it would be nice for the oldest child to be allowed to move into the bigger bedroom once baby number two comes along. The little room is the perfect size for all of the nursery furniture, but unfortunately we aren’t going to be having my nursing chair in there. It would fit, at a push, but it makes the whole room really cramped and quite awkward to get around. We have decided that the bigger bedroom will be a playroom when the child is older. For the time being we’re going to have the nursery chair in there, along with a CD player with some nice lullabies or something. We’re going to use it mainly for night feeds and as a sort of ‘stock room’. We now have quite a collection of nappies, cotton wool, and bottles of baby bath/shampoo/powder etc so we are going to keep all spare supplies in there, and just stock up when necessary.
We were up until almost 1am sorting things and finding a place for everything which was incredible- something I have always looked forward to. All it needs now are the little finishing touches, such as little pictures putting on the wall etc which I’m going to see if we can do tonight. It really does feel perfect for Button. I cant help myself from wandering in there all the time and just looking around, I turn the cot mobile on and just stand looking at all the tiny little clothes that are neatly hanging in the wardrobe. Its so hard to imagine that our very own little person will be wearing them in no more than 5 weeks time!
I’m going to talk more about what pregnancy has been like over the past couple of weeks, as quite a lot has changed recently. I will be 37 weeks pregnant in two days time, therefore I will then be classed as ‘full term’. This means that if Button arrives any time after Wednesday, He/She will no longer be classed as premature! It’s scary to think how close that is and how quickly it has come around. After being referred back to the hospital by my midwife yet again for my growth, Adam and I attended the pregnancy Assesment Unit again a week ago last Friday. This appointment left me in tears of sheer panic. During the appointment I didn’t have any scans or anything. The midwife literally told me to get on the bed, and she pressed hard on my tummy, as all of the others have done so many times before. She then took my measurements again. Every midwife that has ever measured me has said that I’m really quite difficult to measure, as my tummy muscles are so tight. This makes me wonder how accurate their measurements actually are. She said she was measuring me too big, but not as big as the previous midwife. She said “It’s just because it’s a big baby” and then left to find a doctor. This had instantly got me worried, as nobody until then had ever said that the baby was big. At my scans it had measured almost the perfect size (apart from having a slightly round tummy!) Everyone else had told me it was down to me having a lot of fluid.
About ten minutes later the doctor came in for a chat with us. She said that because the baby was ‘big’ it was difficult for them to tell whether or not I would manage a natural delivery. She said they wouldn’t be able to tell at this stage whether or not the baby’s head would even be small enough to fit right down into my pelvis. She went on to say that they wont induce me early as ‘it might not work’, and so the plan for now was to allow me to go into natural labour. She then explained that I will be monitored during labour and if the baby is too big for me to deliver naturally, the labour would be long with no progress being made, at this point the may decide to whisk me off for a Section. Everything turned to a complete blurr while she was speaking, as I was trying to digest everything she was telling me but my brain just didn’t seem able to keep up. The then said that if by the 31st (my due date) nothing had happened, they would have me in that day for a sweep. She went away and left us for about 15 minutes. I sat shaking trying to understand why they were apparently going to just wait and see how much I struggle during labour before deciding whether or not to cut me open.
When she returned, she had got two appointments for me, both on the 1st September! The first was for a growth scan, and the second for a consultation to review the scan results. I assume that if the baby hasn’t arrived by this point, and is measuring big on the scan, they will book me for a section.
Adam and I went for lunch at the hospital and I text my mum to tell her I needed a chat (and a hug). Adam could obviously tell that I was fighting back the tears, when we got into the car he held my hand and said “You’re going to be fine, you know that don’t you?” With that, I burst into floods of tears. I just couldn’t believe what the doctor had said. Why just let me spend hours in pointless labour if it might not even do anything? I’ve been scared stiff about getting a ‘normal’ sized baby out, never mind one that may even be too big to fit! He sat and cuddled me for a few minutes before setting on our way again. I rang my mum during the journey home and she managed to calm me down quite a lot. I also received a lot of reassuring texts from my friend Rosie, who (as always) just sent me a message as I needed her. She went through a very similar situation when she was having her little boy, so it was good to talk to her.
I’m still feeling very worried about the whole thing, but I’ve decided I’m not going to let it upset me too much, as the only time it has ever been mentioned that Button is ‘big’ was on this one occasion, by one midwife, who had only done the same as all the others. I’d had no growth scan to indicate baby’s size, nor had the doctor felt to get her opinion. Not that I don’t trust the midwifes skills but I’m just not going to allow myself to spend the next three weeks being frightened over something which may not even be an issue.
Button seems to get hiccups a lot at the moment, which is rather cute! I always try rubbing his/her back and talking to help them to feel better. Adams felt it a couple of times too which is lovely. Some of the movements are incredible now. The way my whole stomach changes shape, and you can see parts move all the way across is fascinating! Even the midwives joke saying ‘That baby’s having another disco!’
I’ve just thought of something reassuring as I’m writing this. If the baby was really that big, surely there would be much room for movement at all? There certainly seems to be plenty at the moment!
Some of the movements are really quite uncomfortable now, I feel things getting caught under my ribs, which is far from pleasant. I am finding now that there are only a limited number of positions I can be comfortable in, and I have to change position really regularly. I am having baths incredibly regularly now, to take the weight off and soak my muscles a bit, as they ache like mad. Also, iv got terrible eczema at the top of my bump and on my legs which drives me mad, so a soak in the bath with some special cream works wonders. In an evening, if I’m not in the bath, I tend to be bouncing about in the living room on my birthing ball. If I watch TV sitting, or laying on the sofa, im constantly wriggling around, struggling to get comfortable, whereas on the ball I’m constantly moving, which helps with my restlessness, is really comfortable and can at least be a bit of exercise!
As the weeks go by I think I’m starting to get a little paranoid about labour now. Every little pain I get ( and there are a fair few) I’m wondering whether its something important. On Saturday night I had some really strange pains. They were like a really tight stitch-like feeling at the top of my bump and round into my back. They lasted about 30 seconds and were really uncomfortable. I managed to convince myself they were real contractions, so I started timing them. They were happening every 20-25 minutes, which convinced me even more. I did lots of bouncing on my ball, and had a nice warm bath but eventually they just stopped.
Another late pregnancy symptom which I am experiencing with a vengeance is high emotions. I’ve been like it for a while now. Iv always been quite an emotional person but its unbelievable at the moment. I end up getting tearful at things on the TV that I never normally would. Last night I decided to make Adam a slightly less healthy dinner as a treat. I was making Gammon, Egg and chips which I knew he would enjoy. I had a slight disaster with the first egg I tried to fry and ended up sobbing! I got myself into the stupid mindset of ‘what kind of wife and mother am I going to be if I cant even fry an egg??’ .. Silly I know! It seems really funny now. Even half an hour later I was laughing about it but at the time it felt like the end of the world!
Everythings so exciting yet scary at the moment, my Sister in Law, Kelly is due to have her baby this Friday! I cant believe it! We are so excited to meet our new little niece or nephew, and Buttons little cousin. Its been fab to have been pregnant at the same time as her, someone to share the experience, the excitement and the groans with. I think it’ll be great to have our children so close in age, they will grow up really close which is lovely. I never really had much family nearby when I was growing up, so I think its nice that Button will have! I have also seen my dad now, for what will probably be the last time before he’s a Grandad. I cant help but wonder whether that felt as strange and emotional for him as it did me.
I cant believe how close I am to finally becoming a mummy. I have literally wanted this since before I can remember. One of my oldest memories is from when I was about 4 years old. At that age I knew that babies came from ladies, but had no idea that men had anything to do with it. That Christmas I asked Santa to ask his wife if I could have a baby as my present. I remember telling him that all the other toys should be sent to children in Africa. I just wanted my baby. On Christmas Eve that year, I laid out my dolls cot, and chose a special outfit to put them in etc. Things have been similar my whole life. I had dolls that really felt real to me as a child, and I took much better care of them than a lot of children that age would. I get little tears of happiness when I think that after all of these years of feeling like this is what I was born for, its finally about to happen. It also feels a little emotional to think that at this point, I have no idea which of these blog posts will be my last as a ‘mum to be’. Therefore I just want to say how much I have loved every single second of this experience. It has felt like I’ve done a lot of grumbling over the past few weeks, but every single ache and pain will have been well worth it. It’s certainly been a rollercoaster, but iv had so much support from people riding along with me and I cant thank them enough. I’m going to be the absolute best I can be for this little person. I’m going to teach them everything I know and give them the start in life that they deserve. I love them so much already I cant even explain it. I cant wait to hold them and kiss their little nose!
I would like to give a very important thank you to my Husband, Adam. He has absolutely been my rock throughout this pregnancy. Constantly telling me how proud he is of me and how well I’m doing, at the times when I feel like I’m really not. He’s rubbed my back, washed my hair when iv been in pain and gone to the shops at all hours to fetch anything that I’ve needed. He’s amazing. One extra special thank you to him too, as even though it was burnt to a crisp, he ate that egg anyway, just to see me smile!

Who needs sleep? 27 +3

Well, its 5:15 and i am sitting here apparently physically unable to sleep any longer, even though i didn't settle down until 1am, and have already been awake for an hour! This however though, is considered a very successful night!

We are currently on our final morning of our little holiday to Norfolk, which i want to talk a little bit about, as it is our final holiday without having our miniature human with us. (Obviously Buttons with us, but currently not causing us a great deal of trouble.)

We set off at about 5:30 on Wednesday night and arrived at about 8:30. We had pizza and chips and a catch up with my dad, and his girlfriend Sue and then chilled in front of the telly for a while. I got a little overheated so headed out onto the balcony with a drink and one of my pregnancy books which was beautifully relaxing.

That night i hardly slept at all. which was a difficult result to say i was in one of the comfiest beds iv experienced for a long time. I was wide awake until about 5:15am (as was Adam, trying to help get me to sleep bless him) and i finally nodded off, but was tossing and turning before waking again at 8am.

There was a problem this month with my pay, it was the first month of me being activated on a new payroll, and there had been a problem which meant that i didn't get paid when i should have done, last Friday. However, i had been promised that i would receive the money by Thursday, so we'd set off to Norfolk penniless ( Abi had to bring us as we didn't even have the money for petrol).

I had been told on the phone that work had been battling to ensure my pay would be in by Thursday, otherwise it would be an additional 10 days! When we all got up on Thursday morning i checked my account and there was still nothing in it. I usually contribute largely towards the mortgage and bills, and so Adam had paid everything out of his account, which left that empty too. We then both had direct debits taken out, which left us both overdrawn, so we will both be getting bank charges. I ended up in tears, as i thought we were going to spend the entire holiday not able to do a thing. Dad and Sue were out at work, we were only be going to see them in the evenings, so we would have literally been stuck in the house with nothing to do. I checked the bank again at 12pm and there was still nothing in there. I decided we might as well have a walk to the seaside, even if it only ended up being literally a walk. Abi had got a bit of money that she said she could lend us, but i was worrying that any money we could borrow should probably used for the final bills which will be coming out on Monday, rather than ice cream and arcade games.

It took about 40 minutes to drive to the Sherringham, we walked for a few minutes before heading to the nearest cash point. Thankfully, my money had gone in just after 1pm, which has meant that we have finally been able to enjoy the last few days of our time off worry free.

We pottered in and out of a few seaside gift shops and bought a little picnic from a local bakery. We then headed down and ate our lunch on the seafront. The weather was beautiful!

We walked around for the rest of the afternoon pottering in and out of shops and soaking up the seaside atmosphere hand in hand, before heading back to dads.

We had a delicious steak for dinner, and then piled into the car and headed out, dad was treating us to a trip to a 'cinema with a difference'. We arrived at an old fashioned looking building at around 8pm, it was beautifully decorated inside, with old stone walls and mahogany counters. We collected our sweets, and tickets for 'Pirates of the Caribbean 4' and headed into the bar. After a few minutes we took our drinks, (which was a pint of larger in the cases of dad, Adam and Abi), and headed into the theatre with our 3D glasses. It was a tiny little room, unlike any Odeon. Adams pick 'n' mix had vanished by about the third trailer!

I think Button got a bit over excited by the exciting music that accompanied the film, as he/she was bopping about all over the place in there!

We got back at about 11:30, dad and Sue headed off to bed and the three of us sat in the lounge with a drink for a little while. I slept amazingly well, and got about 7 solid hours, which is a total record from over the past few weeks!

We got up yesterday morning at 9:30 and headed out at

about 11. We drove into Norwich city centre for a wander around the shops which was lovely. The first shop i saw when we heading into the centre was a giant Mother care! We spent ages in there. There were some beautiful things. It was lovely to see Adam (and Abi) getting excited over tiny little outfits.

One outfit that i have been admiring for a while, is a little 'Humphrey's corner' dress. It isn't cheap, but i have decided that if Buttons a girl, and they still stock it by the time she arrives, mummy will definitely be treating her to it!

We walked around the shops for a couple of hours, before setting off to spend the rest of the afternoon in Great Yarmouth. When we arrived there, we had a game of 18 hole Pirate themed Crazy Golf, which was amazingly fun and took quite some time to complete! Button got quite competitive!

We then walked around the amusements for a couple of hours. Adam won £15 on a fruit machine and Abi and I got hooked on a duck-themed 2p machine, and won 3 rubber ducks and one fluffy duck, for Button.

It was past 5pm by this time so we nipped across to a stall, Adam got a giant ice cream, i got a Slush and Abi got a Hot Chocolate and we headed back to the car.

We got back to Dad and Sue and had another lovely meal with them before chilling out on the sofa for a couple of hours. We said our goodbyes to dad at about 9:45, and they headed off for an early night, as he was out for work at 4 this morning. At 10:10 Adam and I decided to head out for a romantic stroll to check out the little local pubs in the village. We walked for about half an hour and then found a lovely little pub with a live band, and pretty lights outside. We bought drinks and sat out and chatted about our plans for the near future.

After some lovely long conversations about money, parenting and labour etc we headed across to a kebab shop over the road and got Adam some supper, (which i happily stole half of).

We got completely lost on the way back and ended up wandering around chatting for around and extra 45 minutes! We headed off to bed when we got back, and Adam read his 'A blokes Guide to Pregnancy' book for a while.

I'm not sure yet what we are doing today, i was hoping to build sandcastles at some point, but the weathers not looking too sparkling. On our way home later, we're calling in at Grantham to see my Grandparents, who we very rarely get to see these days. I think we're having dinner there. Adams been tracking our family tree, and has managed to get back to 1550, so he's very much looking forward to long discussions with my Grandad.

I don't know how last nights lack of sleep is going to affect me today, I'm feeling pretty exhausted, and its still only 6:15 so i might head back to bed and see if i can grab another hour, although at least I've got the 3 hour car ride to possibly get some rest this afternoon.

I really am starting to worry about going back to work now though. 2-3 hours sleep a night isn't such an issue when i can rest throughout the day, but I'm dreading how I'm going to feel adding a full time job onto that amount of sleep deprivation. I also now weigh approximately the same as 12 double Decker buses, so I'm having to rest after every few steps at the moment, and I'm finding myself a little breathless at times too.

I'm trying to keep a positive mind with the work thing though, after all, i love my job and the people i work with and its only another 7 weeks of actual work! I'm sure it'll fly by. I'm still quite glad about the choices iv made regarding my maternity leave. I'll be working right up to 36 weeks, using two weeks holidays and then starting maternity at 38 weeks! Which means I'll have lots of time with Button when he/she is here.

Just to confuse everyone, I'm now going to take my blog post back to Wednesday afternoon, before we set off on our little Holiday. We spent most of the afternoon at the hospital for our two appointments. I had my Physiotherapy first, which was useful in some ways, as i was given bump support bands and exercises to try, but i didn't really gain as much as I'd hoped for. I got no answers about the RLS, and no answers really as to what can help with all the pain, but hopefully if i persist with the exercises, they'll help to ease it in the long run.

Secondly we had the all important visit to the hospital midwives, to get my bump remeasured. Bare in mind that two weeks previous, i had been measured at 29-30 weeks, i am now measuring at 35! It was another different midwife today, who confirmed that my tummy muscles are 'incredibly strong' and so therefore its hard to feel where the baby is. She did however manage to tell us the position of the head, which is still incredibly low.

She decided that it is probably for the best that we arrange a growth scan, to see if Button really is a little porker, or if I'm gaining lots of fluid, or if its just a generally big bump. She said one of the main concerns could be that I'm developing/have developed Gestational diabetes, so its quite important that we get everything checked out. It'll be lovely to see the baby again anyway, as long as the sex isn't revealed!

The midwife told me that id be receiving a phone call with my appointment for the scan, as they couldn't fit me in that afternoon. Shortly after we left, i had a phone call asking if we could make it on Friday, when i explained that we were away she said she'd try for another appointment and call me back, which she hasn't done. I'll give them a ring on Monday morning and chase it up.

Well, this has probably been one of my longest ever posts! Its now 6:31 so at least iv killed some time of being up alone. One positive thing about the lack of sleep is that i definately feel i'll be ready for all the night feeds, i'll be pretty used to only having a couple of hours a night by the time Buttons here!

I'm going to attempt to get comfy and sleep a little bit longer now, as i imagine Adam and Abi will probably snooze for another couple of hours yet.

Love love love,

Mummy Elce and Baby Button xxx

A nightmare 13 weeks?

OK, so, pregnancy is still without a doubt the most beautiful thing i have ever put myself through, and i know that this tiny person will be worth every single ache and pain that will be put my way. I also know that there are a lot of ladies out there who have terrible pregnancies, with sickness and pain from the word go, and have much more reason to grumble than myself. I wouldn't change being pregnant for the world, but certain aspects of it have become a little tiresome over the past couple of weeks, so i am going to allow myself this one blog post to be a little more negative than my usual posts, just to get some things off of my chest.

So, i am 27 weeks today, some sources tell me that i have now entered the third trimester, some say that isn't for another week, so that's all a little confusing.

Over the past two weeks i have had a new problem to face, i have developed quite intense RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome). Its the weirdest thing to try to describe. It starts off with just the urge to stretch my limbs (a similar feeling to when you first wake up), not at all painful. The feeling then gets more intense and more uncomfortable and takes over my legs, arms, hands and shoulders. All of these muscles begin to feel tickley, then achy then tight, almost like they are all having individual contractions, and cramping. Literally the only thing that stops the pain is to move. Then, as soon as i stop the pain returns. Its the most frustrating thing in the world, especially as it happens mainly in the evenings, when I'm tired and wanting to sleep. I feel so exhausted, i am just not sleeping at all, and when i do, its not good quality deep sleep as I'm waking up every few minutes in pain and trying to get comfortable. The past few nights have had the exact same pattern, me in tears throughout the night, midnight walks round the block, 2am baths and 4am dancing and yoga sessions whilst talking to the cat downstairs. Adams been amazing. He's walked with me and cuddled me and rubbed my back, and hasn't gotten at all frustrated with the amount of tears he's had to put up with.
It worries me slightly though, I'm off work on holiday at the moment, and I'm wearing myself out. But at least while I'm off, when i can sleep and get exhausted in the early afternoon i can just lay down and try and get an hours rest where ever possible. When i go back to work next week its going to be so hard, to have around 2 hours sleep per night, and then have to get up and face a full day at work is going to prove difficult I'm sure. I just don't want to end up feeling shattered by the time the baby comes. Also, i have read that RLS can last for approximately 4 weeks after birth, this scares me immensely as i know that once the baby is here, i will need every precious second of sleep i can get.
On the rare occasion that i don't suffer with RLS in an evening, there always seems to be something to disrupt my sleep now, but i guess that's just part and parcel of the last trimester. Being woken 12-14 times a night by frequent toilet trips, immense thirst, leaking breasts, leg cramps, itching skin and backache is no ones idea of a good night in. Before pregnancy, if i woke up in the night with cramp in my legs, i would do one of two things, reach down and pull my foot backwards, or leap out of bed and stretch it out. Neither of these things are even remotely possible for me now, my feet have never felt so far away and i practically need a crane to get out of bed, and certainly cant do it at any speed!
I'm not the kind of person who insists they need their 7.5 hours per night in order to survive, i can wake at 7am on my days off and quite happily plod on with the day, but i think 2-3 hours a night would prove a little tough even on the liveliest of people.
I'm visiting the hospital again today, in fact, i will probably be there for the majority of the afternoon, as i have physio at 1, and my measurements with the midwife at 3. I'm going to mention the RLS at physio and hope that there is something they can suggest. We are then off for a couple of days at Norfolk with my dad, which i am so excited about. We can take Button to the seaside!
This blog post has probably not even been worth writing, i am even wondering whether to post it at all. I really don't want to seem like iv got a negative outlook on everything, i know some people would give anything to have what i have right now. I wanted it for long enough myself. No matter how bad things feel at any particular point, and how far away 13 weeks can feel when your sat in a bath at 3am with only a cat for company, there isn't a second that goes by when i don't know (be it deep down at times) how truly lucky i am.
The main purpose of today's blog was to help me shake my grumpiness of a bad night off, and be able to enjoy my day with my wriggling tummy and wonderful husband, and i feel that i have achieved that.
Every time i feel those little wiggles, everything just melts away and nothing else matters. One little kick makes every ache, pain, cramp and craving completely and utterly worth it, and every sleepless night is one closer to spending sleepless nights with my little pumpkin!

Apologies once again for the rant.

Love love love xxxx

Lots to tell... 21+4

Yet again, i have failed miserably as a blogger! I cant believe it has been nearly two weeks! May i begin this post by firstly congratulating a friend of ours, Lizz, and her partner Mitch, on the birth of their beautiful daughter Alice. Lizz was the one who inspired me to start this blog, i love every second of reading hers, and its nice to compare our pregnancies and to know that everything that's happening with me, is experienced by others too. Alice is a credit to them both, a truly wonderful little person!

So many things have happened since i last blogged, iv got a feeling this may turn into quite a long post!
We have now had our 20 week scan (13/4/11), which felt really strange. That is the last time we will see our baby until he/she is actually in our arms! And yes, we (or at least Adam) managed to stay strong enough to keep Buttons sex a surprise. I cant help thinking that if id have been there on my own, i may have buckled and found out, but Adam was determined we would have a surprise. I have decided i am going to ask the midwives to let Adam announce the sex to me when Button arrives. I just think this would make a lovely bond between us as a family, i cant think of a nicer way to finally find out, than for Adam to be the one to tell me.

The scan started off really well, they measured Button (who was 30cm including those great long legs!!), they checked the heart and its chambers, the spine, the face. Pretty much everything. It was amazing to see our little person on that screen again. The lady then said she needed to check the head, to get measurements, and to check the baby's brain. She was pressing on my tummy for a while, looking really puzzled. Apparently the baby's head was so far down, she couldn't scan that low in my pelvis to see properly.
This worried me a bit. Surely the head shouldn't be that low at this stage? I asked her if it was normal. She didn't give and answer of yes or no, she simply said that they manage to get into all sorts of positions in there. I'm hoping she would have told me if it was something to be worried about.
After about 20 minutes of scanning, she asked me to go for a ten minute walk, and to eat a mars bar, to try and encourage Button to change positions. I spent the whole ten minutes pacing up and down corridors, rubbing my tummy and hoping that they would move. When we went back in things were exactly the same. She made be lay on my side, then the other side, then she put cushions under me to tip me backwards, nothing was working.
Knowing that she was trying to check the baby's brain, i was getting more and more concerned with her puzzled silence. Part of my brain (the cerebellum) is damaged and i was getting really worried that this may also be the case with the baby, or something similar.
Eventually, she managed to get a good enough view to check everything she needed to, although it was still a struggle. Everything is fine. This was the biggest relief ever! We came away with two updated pictures of Button. They aren't as clear as the 12 weeks scan due to Buttons increase in size! In total, we were in the scan for well over an hour!

It feels so strange to be over half way there! Time is flying by at such an unbelievable pace!

We have also had a second hospital appointment, for an extra consultation. I have got to attend a few of these because of my 'added difficulties'. We actually found it a really helpful appointment, well worth the visit. I have been in serious amounts of pain with my legs and lower back. I literally cant be standing for long at all and im really in pain. The doctor said that at this stage of pregnancy, the majority of women are struggling with these sorts of pains anyway, but adding that to the problems i already have ( I have mild Cerebal Palsy, which includes having very wonky hips, knees and ankles) there is no wonder i am struggling so much. I had physiotherapy for many years as a child. I always had to wear big plastic supports in my shoes, and in my mid-teens i even had to wear straps up my legs.The doctor referred me for urgent physiotherapy, which she said i will recieve a letter about and may be starting in as early as a weeks time! She also prescribed me with some stronger pain relief, for when it gets unbarable, and told me to just stay off my feet whenever possible. She said that its probably going to get much worse, as i get bigger, so i feel so relieved that something is going to be done about it.

The past few days have brought some really strong kicks from Button. Its amazing how it has changed so dramatically in literally a matter of days. Its gone from a funny little fluttery feeling to definite movements and kicks. I find myself holding my tummy a lot of the time, especially in my sleep, and i have actually felt it on my hand now, and even seen my tummy move! Adam hasn't felt it yet, which is really starting to frustrate me. I always get him to put his hand straight on as soon as we feel anything, but then it stops.

My dad came over on the 10th April for his birthday, and we all went out for a meal which was lovely. After dinner we all went back to my Grandparents house for a while, i had the doppler that we'd borrowed from a friend, so we all sat round and had a listen to buttons heartbeat, and the little kicks and wiggles. It was lovely because it was only the second or third time iv seen my dad since i've been pregnant, so it was nice to be able to involve him in something.

Our living situation is a bit strange at the moment. We kept finding things that need doing with the house, which are each going to be quite costly. Such as, the heating is stuck on full, we don't seem to be able to do anything about it. Its literally unbearable at the moment, i can hardly breathe in there. Things need fixing in the bathroom, and in the kitchen etc. A lot of time and effort (and money) needs to be put into it. We are trying to decide what to do for the best. In the mean time we have come to stay with my sister in her new house. We plan to go back to the house regularly to do work on it. Our options will then be to either:

*Move back in and try to settle.

* Do enough to rent the house out, then find a little place of our own.

* Do enough to get the house on the market, and try and get it sold.

I think i am personally definitely edging towards moving. Adam already lived there before we got together, and i just really like the idea of us choosing somewhere together, boxing everything up, getting rid of all the junk that we don't need, and moving somewhere that we can have a fresh start with our baby. I'm just totally in love with the idea of choosing somewhere together, getting in and making decisions about what to put where etc. Its a part of growing up that i feel like i haven't done yet.

While we are staying with Abi, we are switching everything off at the house to save a bit of money, Adams now catching a train to work, as the new house is only a couple of miles to the station, so its saving him a lot on petrol money. The extra money will definitely help a lot over the coming months. Our kitten has just had an accident, which has cost £300 in vets bills. Abi was thankfully able to pay that for us, so we now have that to pay back, along with close to £1000 worth of baby stuff we had still planned to get, and the costs that are going to come with the work on the house.

Its all quite exciting, but I'm having to concentrate hard on keeping it feeling like an adventure, rather than a scary chore. I just want to know that we're going to be settled, happy and ready when Button arrives. I'm sure everything will turn out OK in the end.

We are going to have a wander this evening to explore a lovely little local pub we spotted the other day, we're going to sit outside with a drink and have a really good discussion about what we plan to do.

We are actually really enjoying this new town, there are plenty of things around, such as a massive new leisure centre with swimming pool, two nurseries, a big Asda, lots of little cafe's, an indoor shopping centre, a garage, chinease, indian and pizza resturants, lots of little pubs and the town centre, all within walking distance. We've already done some exploring and are looking forward to venturing a little more this everning.

We got a message the other day, from my friend who owns the baby shop, she had got the 'Millie and Boris' changing station in. In the Mamas and Papas shop it sells for £130, and she had it for sale for £45! Iv been thinking for a while that it might be a nice idea to have one of these. if we stayed in our current house, we could have it in the living room (which is on the middle floor). It has a bath, changing mat and shelves, which would be useful to save us constantly going up and downstairs. Also, the bath and changing mat will be useful for me to be able to use standing, because i struggle with back pain and wouldn't be good with bending to much. If we were with Abi for a while after Button was born, we could keep it in our room. Wherever we are, i think we would find it majorly useful. Adams mum had said that she would like to buy us a bath set, so Adam mentioned it to her the other day and she kindly said she would buy it for us. Which was lovely, as i knew it wouldn't stay in the shop for long! So we collected it yesterday!

I spent quite a while this morning planning the book i am having made for the baby. We're going to have it printed in hardback, and it'll take pride of place in the nursery. The idea is to have photos of all the family, pets, homes etc with writing about each person. We are going to write about our wedding, our jobs, hobbies, the pregnancy and include the scan photos etc. I think it'll be lovely to be able to show Button when he/she is older, how excited we are about meeting them :)

Well, i think iv written everything i was planning to, but there may end up being another couple of small posts this evening, as i remember things that i haven't included.

Please feel free to write comments or questions etc, so i know that there are still people out there actually reading me natter away to myself!

Love love love xxxx

Whoop! Progress :)

I have got my first proper driving lesson tomorrow! I'm so excited, and determined, I'm going to do 3 hours a week, and have worked out that iv got about 20 weeks to crack on with it! I'm going to really get my head down to try and do it as quick as possible, to save money (£20 per hour!). Mum and Dad have both given me money towards it, thank goodness!
Stiiilll haven't had my scan date yet, and I'm 12 weeks this Friday!! (eeek). Chased it up with the hospital, and they claimed to never have received my midwife's letter! It was sent on the 18th Jan! So, instead of doing the simple thing and booking me in while i was on the phone, they said id got to ring Heather back, and get her to resend the letter, and then wait for them to write to me with a date. I rang nearly a week ago now and still haven't heard anything. Going to chase it up again tomorrow. Sickness is getting a lot better, and bump is getting bigger :) Other than that we are all pretty much the same :)

Love love love xxx