A very tough week!

This post is probably going to be completely opposite to the last. I had been feeling soo positive, and things we're going so well. How fast things can change...

In my last post i mention my battle with trying to get Isabelle's new medication down her. We managed it eventually. She was on it Friday, Saturday and Sunday, by Monday i stopped giving it to her. It was supposed to stop her being sick, and she was being more sick, she was screaming in pain, waking through the nights and she had terrible diarrhea. I hated seeing her so poorly, so as we were at the hospital on Wednesday anyway, i decided to stop it until i had spoken to them.

Monday was probably one of the worst days so far, in fact, i honestly struggled to get through the day. She was screaming in pain constantly and i couldn't do anything for her. I tried rocking her, singing to her (which normally always calms her down) pacing the house with her, letting her lay down, sit up, everything. It was awful, in the end i just sat and cried with her.
She's been taking less than half her recommended amount in feeds and she's so sick I'm sure most of what she does take comes back up. Her weight really is becoming a worry now, which is another reason why i stopped that medication. If her weights already dipping dramatically, the last thing we want is for her to have diarrhea as well as her sickness.

Tuesday was a much better day, but we were out and about a fair amount which probably helped. We got the bus into town in the morning, as i had arranged a meeting about my return to work. This had been a hot topic for us throughout the week, as we did many sums and tried to work out what would work out for the best. It was a depressing discovery. I worked out that for the number of hours per week i wanted to work, i would earn around £141.17 a week. I then looked into childcare, and to cover those hours with a childminder would cost us around £100 a week! Which would mean id be leaving my baby girl with a stranger, for 22 hours a week (3 hours included for the traveling to take her and fetch her) for £41.17! Another way i saw this, is its like me working my 19 hours for £2.16 an hour, It seems crazy. We then had a couple of offers from family for looking after her.
The hours we arranged for me to work are: All day Tuesday, All day Wednesday, and 12:30-5:30 on a Friday. My mums day off is Tuesday, so she's going to have her then. My sisters day off is Wednesday, she's volunteered to do that, so its only Fridays we need to sort. So 6 hours of childcare to find, which will make life much easier for us. I also have to work the occasional Saturday. When i work a Saturday i wont be working one of either the Tuesday or the Wednesday, which means my mum and Abi will at least get a break every now and then. I feel much better about going back to work since i had this meeting. I know there will be a lot of support there for me and i think I'll actually enjoy it!
I also feel 100% better knowing that for the majority of the time, Isabelle will be being looked after by family, who know all of her special little requirements and will look after her with the same love that we do.
I'm beginning to think a nursery for 6 hours on a Friday might be quite good for Isabelle too. As long as we find a very good one who we can trust do get all her medications right and know all of her allergies i think it'll do her good. She'll be around other children, and when she comes to the age where she has to go to nursery, she'll be more used to it. I have just rung a nursery and Adam and i are going to view it this afternoon :)
So my first day back at work is officially Friday 20th April!

On Wednesday we had Isabelle's hospital appointment. They had a good look at her and checked her weight charts and i explained all of my concerns. To cut a long story short, it turns out she was still reacting to even the prescribed milk that she was on, so they have changed that as well as putting her on another new medication, which (touch wood) we are managing OK with so far. I was very brave and gathered the courage to ask for a second opinion this time, as i really have had enough of seeing her so poorly and its dragged on for so long now. In the end i saw three doctors, who all said the same thing.. so I'm feeling quite confident this time. Isabelle has now had one full day on the new milk, which was yesterday and during the whole day she had 19oz! Which makes a nice change to the usual 12-13 she was having before.. so things are looking up. She is, however, still being incredibly sick, but i guess the medication can take time to get working.

I am still bleeding, its been over two weeks now! I spoke to the hospital this morning and my operation is now on the 8th March! Which is 7 whole weeks away! So it will be the 19th April (ish) before I'm back to my normal self :( I cant believe they are leaving me that long. The thought of being in pain for all those weeks makes me feel so down :(



Love love love xx

Button is finally here! :) The birth story..

So its not far off a month since my last post, and sooo much has happened since then! I've been wanting to write this for ages, as i am already starting to forget little details now that my notes have gone.

After my due date i had two sweeps, the first one was when i was 6 days overdue, the midwife said i was 1cm dilated but the baby's head was still not set in the right place, so things were definitely happening, but Button still didn't appear to want to head out any time soon.

I then had a second sweep on the Friday, when i was 9 days overdue, by this time i was 2cm dilated and baby's head was good to go! I was booked to be induced on the Monday morning, which i really wanted to avoid as I'd been told if the induction went ahead i wouldn't be able to use the birthing pool.

The midwife who did my second sweep was quite confident that the baby would make its own way out over the weekend and that i wouldn't need the induction on Monday morning. Over the weekend i had a few good tightening but nothing major happened.

I found it difficult to sleep on Saturday night, knowing that i was only going to be waiting another couple of days to meet my baby. I think i managed to get about two hours sleep that night, and hardly any at all on the Sunday night. That's one big downside to knowing the date your going to go into labour in advance, you can guarantee you aren't going to get any sleep the night before! My tummy was in knots!

I set my alarm for 6am on Monday morning, but was already wide awake. I had been told that i was booked in for 8:30am, but that i should ring just after 6 to check that they could still fit me in. The midwife i spoke to said that it was incredibly busy, there wasn't any space for me, and that i should call back after 12 to see if things had changed by then. I couldn't help but feel a little gutted about it. Id got myself so mentally prepared for it happening, and was so fed up (as i was now 12 days overdue and pretty huge) i couldn't bare the thought that it might be another day or two.

We checked our hospital bags and put everything into the car, and headed to Tesco for some last minute labour snacks and to have lunch in the cafe. We were still there at just gone 12 so i rang the hospital back. They told me to be there by 1:45. So we did our shopping and headed straight into Worksop. We went to Adams work first to pick up his phone charger, and i was given some last minute words of support from some of his work colleagues. We then headed to the hospital and had a drink in the cafe before going to meet my mum.

When we got into the labour ward they took us round to an observation bay, where i had a bed, and a couple of chairs for Adam and mum, and they pulled the curtain round. The midwife came in and strapped the monitors to me to check baby's movement and heart rate, she then left us for quite some time while they got a good reading. At about 3:40pm she came back and gave me a pessary, she said that i was still 2cm so they weren't able to break my waters straight away. The plan was then that they would leave me for 6 hours and return at 9:30pm to either break my waters (if possible) or give a second pessary and leave me a further 6 hours.

My mum gave me an amazing hand and foot massage with some special oils she had packed which really helped me to relax. I then decided i probably ought to attempt to get some sleep as we could have a long night ahead. My mum went in search for a cafe for a cup of tea while i tried to rest and Adam occupied himself playing games on the Ipad. I failed to get any sleep and they brought my tea at 5pm which was a lovely ham salad, they threw in some extra packets of biscuits and snacks to help to keep us all going through the night. Whilst my mum was out she found the main hospital restaurant and noticed that it shut at 7pm, her and Adam hadn't really had anything to eat so we decided they should try and get some tea before it shut. The midwife popped in again and checked my readings were all OK before removing the monitors. She told me i was quite welcome to leave the labour ward for a walk around, and advised us that keeping as active as possible could help move things along. We all decided to have a walk to the restaurant together.

We had a steady walk, and i was beginning to get quite uncomfortable. I felt incredibly heavy, and was very hot and thirsty. We sat in the restaurant for about 20 minutes while mum and Adam had something to eat, but i really struggled to get comfortable, i kept standing up and sitting down, and going back and forth to the toilet as i kept feeling like i needed a wee. We then decided that, although i was really uncomfortable we should try and have a long walk to get things moving. So we walked right round the outside of the hospital to get back to the labour ward. Towards the end of the walk i was beginning to have some quite painful contractions, and had to stop walking and cling onto my mum whilst breathing through them. We stopped at the car on the way back and Adam picked up my suitcase, then we headed back to the observation bay.

When we got back they strapped me to the monitor for a quick five minute check. Once that was done (at 7:20pm) i felt desperate for a wee, so i got up.. almost the second i stood up i felt a really strange 'pop' in my lower tummy and about 3 seconds later a huge gush of fluid flooded down my legs. I grabbed onto the table and shouted 'my waters have broken' to my mum and Adam. After a few seconds you could see the fluid (still gushing out) streaming across the floor. My trousers were completely drenched so we decided it was a good time to change into my nighty. I got cleaned up, and had a little bounce on my ball, still having painful contractions, but not very close together. A few minutes later i stood up and felt another gush. We looked down, and instead of the clear fluid that had been there before, it was pure blood running down my legs. Panic hit all three of us and my mum ran straight to fetch a midwife, my knees bucked and i clung, hysterical to Adam, who looked incredibly worried but still tried to console me. My mum came back within a few minutes, and the midwife said that the blood loss was completely normal. This frustrated me a little, as we had been to several anti natal classes that had told us we should take careful notice of what colour the waters were. We had been told that if they had any pink or green colour to them, we should urgently ring the labour ward as it could be a dangerous sign. I hate to imagine how we would have reacted if this had have happened at home!

Over the next hour i had a further two gushes, mainly of water but a fair amount of blood came with it. By the time the gushes had finished, my bump was literally half its original size, which made me feel allot happier about how big the baby may be.

The contractions began to get quite strong, and you could actually see my tummy tighten and change shape before the pain arrived. They strapped me back to the monitors to have a look. The contractions were showing up, but not in the 'normal' patten.

After a while of being strapped down, i became desperate to get into the bath, which the midwife said was OK. My mum went to fill the bath for me, but it was really slow and seemed to take forever, so i had another bounce on the birthing ball while i waited. I had two baths during those first couple of hours. During the second, i took the Ipad into the bathroom with me, as i had my hypnobirth tracks on it. I'd been using them for a few weeks in the run up to the birth. I found them really helpful and calming, it was just a nice gentle reminder that every pain was bringing my baby closer and that i was in control and my body was designed to do it. I got into the bath and tried to start the tracks playing, but they wouldn't work. I was so disappointed as id spent half the pregnancy thinking i would have them to help me relax. Luckily, my mum had brought some special relaxation tracks with her, they weren't birth related but they made me concentrate on being calm and focused so i found them really helpful.

The contractions became incredibly strong and painful at this point. My mum had a jug and poured water over my tummy with each contraction which made them easier to bare. I spent quite a long time in the bath, until the midwife came and asked if she could examine me again. As i got out of the bath, Adam came in and told me to stay in the bathroom for a few minutes, there was a lady screaming in the next room and he didn't want me to panic. We could still hear her with the bathroom door shut so i sat on the toilet and my mum stood in front of me and cuddled me with her hands over my ears. A couple of minutes later a midwife came in to tell us a baby girl had just been born next door. This gave me another rush of excitement and reminded me that all the pain would be so worth it.

We then went back to my bed for me to be examined again, at 00:20 i had only got to 3cm dilated! It felt like a punch in the stomach when they told me that. The pain was pretty intense by this point, so i asked when i would be able to have some pain relief. They brought me gas and air, which i used over the next few hours, although i now realise i hadn't been using it right. All it seemed to do was make me breathless, i didn't like it at all, but it gave me something to focus on, so i kept using it. After about another hour we asked whether i would be able to use the birthing pool, as i hadn't had to have my waters broken. The midwife agreed to go and fill the pool for me, and we gathered our things ready to move into the birthing suite. Once we were in there in went and sat on the toilet while they were filling the pool, my mum came in too, and let me hold on to her. Each contraction made me jump to my feet, i couldn't get into any position which made it any easier, so i just clung to my mum.

Eventually they called me to tell me the pool was ready, so i rushed out and got straight in. We dimmed the lights and continued to play the relaxation tracks. I was feeling so exhausted by this point, as it was the early hours of Tuesday morning and i hadn't slept properly since Friday night. Adam was timing my contractions, and they were only a couple of minutes apart. He stood behind me and held me up, i was nodding off between contractions. Suddenly something just seemed to happen and the pain became almost unbearable, i was gasping hard on the gas and air and moving around in the water, desperately trying to find some position which might help, but there didn't seem to be one. I felt so exhausted i decided to ask about an epidural. Knowing that at my last examination id still only been 3cm made me realise i could be in that pain for several hours. I'd been told that an epidural would completely numb all pain, so i was hoping it may allow me to get some rest before i began to push.

We decided to go ahead and arrange the epidural, as they had told me it could take some time to organize. I got out of the water and onto the bed and had a drip put into my hand. I had the epidural put in at 4:30am and by 5:30 i was 8cm while i was contracting. The epidural wasn't at all what i had expected, i could still feel contractions.. and they were still painful. I still had to use the gas and air through them too. This really began to frighten me, as i was now expecting to feel even worse pain through the pushing stage. They kept topping up my epidural and eventually it began to ease the pain (but didn't take it away altogether like i had expected).

I suddenly began to feel like i needed a wee, but was now unable to get out of bed due to the epidural. They offered me a choice of trying to use a bedpan, or having a catheter. I opted to try the bedpan. They brought it in and lifted me onto it, and it turned out i didn't need a wee after all. While i was tipped up on the bedpan, both mine and the baby's heart rate took a scary turn. It was horrible to hear Buttons heartbeat slow to almost nothing, they quickly took me off the bedpan and put me on my side, and decided to prep me for theatre. Baby's heartbeat slowed dangerously, mine went up from 78 to 183! I suddenly began to have all jewelry removed and my mum was given nail varnish remover and started quickly getting my finger and toe nails cleared and the doctor changed me from my nighty to theatre gowns. While all of this was going on the baby's heart rate improved. Suddenly i realised i was beginning to push, it wasn't something i was even in control of. Each time i had a contraction my tummy just started to push down on its own. I told the midwife, so she decided to examine me again. She said i was only 9cm and that part of my cervix was still in the way, therefore i wasn't allowed to push. I cant even describe how difficult this was, they told me to try and breath through the contractions to stop myself from pushing, but it was almost impossible. I don't know how long i was having to try not to push for, possibly about an hour, but it felt like a lifetime. It was such a relief when they told me i was finally allowed to push. At this stage, i didn't feel any pain really, just extreme exhaustion. It was the best feeling in the world to no longer have to fight what my body was naturally trying to do.

I began pushing at approximately 7am. By this point i was so exhausted i literally fell asleep between contractions as my heart rate was still incredibly high. The whole night feels like a bit of a blur. One thing that annoyed me was we had specifically asked (and put in my birth plan) that if i needed to be cut, they wouldn't tell me it was happening. I gave consent before hand and told them i didn't want to know. I just remember the midwife saying to the doctor 'Are you doing the episiotomy or am i?' .. It's as if they thought i wouldn't know what that meant! They kept telling my that they weren't going to let me push for much longer if not much progress was being made.

They said they had called a doctor to come and 'assist my delivery'. One of my biggest fears throughout the pregnancy was having to have forceps. When i saw the doctor (and practically his classroom full of students) come into the room and start explaining what they were going to do i decided I'd got to give every last drop of energy i had into getting this baby out on my own, so i pushed with everything i had. I had my mum and Adam either side of me telling me how amazing i was doing and saying that the baby was nearly out. I remember my mum telling me that Buttons had gorgeous dark hair :)

Eventually i heard those words that id been so desperate to hear for such a long time 'You've done it!' i looked down as a little body was placed onto my tummy. My tummy churned as i took in the first few sights of my button, the little body was a purple/blue colour and there was no noise. I looked at Adam and he tearfully told me we had a little girl!! After a few seconds the midwives whisked her away, they did some work on her on a little table, and held her upside down etc. She had done a poo on her way out and swallowed some of it, which made her rather poorly. I can just remember repeatedly saying 'is she OK?' , 'promise me she's OK' It was the most emotional moment of my life. Adam, my mum and I were all in tears. We'd both secretly been hoping for a little girl!

After what seemed like a lifetime, they wrapped her back up and passed her to me. Looking down at that beautiful little face was the most amazing moment of my life, and i instantly fell in love with her.

So, i can now officially, and finally announce that my beautiful little Button, Isabelle Verona Elce, was born on Tuesday 13th September 2011 at 9:42am weighing 8lb 6oz.

I cant describe the instant love we all felt for her, and its got stronger every day!

I definitely haven't been put off by the birth at all, however I've had a few problems since which have made things very difficult.

After a few hours, once i was on the maternity ward i began to have severe pain in my neck and the back of my head. It became so bad that eventually i could barely move. I was assessed several times over that evening, and the following day. On Wednesday afternoon a senior anaesthetist came to see me. He explained that while I'd had my epidural they had gone into a nerve, which had made me jump ( i remember jumping slightly), then because I'd jumped, they had gone in too far and made a hole. This was causing the severe pain in my head. He said i needed to have a procedure done in theatre to help to repair the damage. This was arranged for the following day (Thursday), but in the meantime i needed to remain laying flat.

The trip to theatre was very difficult, i wasn't put to sleep for the procedure and i had to sit up, and sit very still for the whole 45 minutes that i was in there, which was unbearably painful.

A few hours after returning from theatre things seemed to be improving, and i even managed to walk to the bathroom, but by later that evening i was in a lot of pain again. They had told me that the theatre procedure may need to be repeated a second time, but i really didn't want to have to have it done again.

Those first few days and nights were really tough emotionally as well as physically. I had this beautiful new baby girl and i could hardly do anything for her. People had to literally latch her to me for feeds and that was all i could do, i couldn't even look at her while she was feeding as i couldn't move my head, and i found this incredibly hard to deal with.

I was discharged from hospital on the Friday night. I ended up lying to the midwives and telling them i felt much better, because i couldn't bare another night of being stuck in there, away from Adam. I spent the whole weekend still unable to move, in agony. On the Sunday night things got really bad, i was feeding Isabelle, and i had to shout Adam to come and take her off of me. I fell to the floor in agony and couldn't move. My mum told Adam to ring the doctor and we ended up at A&E. They decided that along with the problem with my epidural, i had also suffered whip lash, as for the 2.5 hours I'd spent pushing, id been having my chin on my chest, then throwing my head back after every push, which had damaged the muscles in my neck. I spent the next couple of days having lots of hot baths, my mum and Abi gave me massages to try and loosen the muscles and eventually it became a lot easier.

I have to say there is no way i could have been without my mum or Adam during the birth, they were both amazing and so supportive! Adam surprised me so much, i was really worried about how he would cope during the birth and he just got on with it, he even watched Isabelle come out! (ew!). They both made me so proud and it wouldnt have been the same without either one of them!

I still have this horrible feeling in my tummy when i think about those first few days after Isabelle was born. I almost feel like I've missed the first week of my little girls life. She's two weeks old tomorrow! Its gone so fast and she's already changed so much!

I know everybody thinks this about there own child but she really is the most beautiful thing in the world to me. We've had some tough nights so far but every second i love her more and more. That little face looking up at me during her feeds is the most heart warming feeling in the world.

So we are finally a family. I've wanted this my whole life and it still hasn't quite sunk in. I still find myself waking in the night worrying about labour, and then i realise there's no need. I've done it!! And I'd do it a million times over for that little girl!!

Love love love xx

Showtime? 38+6 - 39

Well guys, i think this might be it, the moment we've been waiting for! Its so frustrating though as i cant be 100% sure. Everyone says 'you'll know when its the real thing' but I'm really struggling to decide whether it is or not. I've had braxton hicks for a while now, and they are fairly uncomfortable, but in no regular pattern. This seems completely different. I think if its not the start of labour, button is definitely making some serious moves into position ready for the big moment..

Yesterday morning (23/8/11) i woke at about 4am with bad period pains. Its funny actually, for the first time in months i completely forgot i was pregnant for a moment. I actually remember thinking 'oh great, my periods on its way, I'd better get up and get sorted'. It wasn't until i tried to get out of bed that i remembered. The tummy ache got pretty bad, but was constant, it didn't come and go. I wandered downstairs for a while and distracted myself until it had eased enough for me to attempt to get back to sleep. For the rest of the day it seemed to come and go, but wasn't majorly painful.

I'd got a nice afternoon arranged as a treat from my mum. She, my sister and I headed to a salon for some treatments. I had a lovely massage and a pedicure. Before my massage began, the woman warned me that there was a possibility it could start my labour. I consented for her to go ahead.

When we'd finished at the salon, we went back to my mums, where i was to spend the next few hours until Adam arrived to collect me. At approximately 5:30 i got a really tense tightening in my tummy, which took my breath away. It lasted a few seconds and I'd forgotten about it shortly after. Within the next half hour this had happened again a couple of times. Mum and Abi were commenting on how my bump had completely changed shape. The tightening became pretty uncomfortable, although still not really painful, i was having to concentrate on breathing through them. My mum sat next to me, and for a few hours she just rested her hand on my bump. She didn't look at me, and could tell exactly when i was tightening just by feeling.

It is now 3:15am and things are pretty much the same, I've been having these contractions approx every 4-7 minutes. They are very uncomfortable now and some are really quite painful. I'm getting pain in my back with them now too.

Its rather frustrating though, as i know that if this is the early stages of the real thing, I'm going to need all the energy i can get, but i already cant sleep through them. I am being woken up every 7 minutes ish which is driving me crazy.

My bump is now rock solid, right down the middle. Up until recently its always been more to one side, so i think Buttons definitely getting prepared.

I almost wish my waters would just break or something, just so i can know for a fact if its the real thing as i don't want to get myself all excited in case it's a false alarm.

I cant help but think that a false alarm wouldn't go on for this long though?

I am booked to see my midwife at 1:30pm later today so it will be interesting to see what she says about it all. Any comments on whether or not people think this is it would be much appreciated :)

Love Love Love, from one very excited mum to be xxx

Flying high :)

I was supposed to have an appointment with Heather (midwife) on Tuesday. But me being as ditsy as i am ( though i make take the opportunity to blame it on the 'baby brain') , i had written down 15th April, instead of March. It threw me off a bit, because it was a lot earlier than i would have normally had an appointment with her, but now i remember that's because she hadn't seen me since my scan, and wanted to go through all the details of it.
I felt so bad that id missed it, especially when i received a text from heather, asking if i was OK. She contacted me yesterday, luckily just as i was going to the loo at work, so i heard my phone in my locker. She said she'd got a spare appointment for 12pm, in Warsop. I thought it was unlikely that i would be able to make it, as we were short on staff, but knew it could be a couple of weeks before my next opportunity to go. So i rang down and asked Shawna. We made the decision that i could probably make it there and back using my dinner hour. I rang Adam, but he couldn't get out of work, he told me to go without me. As soon as id agreed to it, i started getting really nervous, trying to figure out bus times, and getting less and less confident that i would have time to get there, have my appointment and get back, in an hour.
So i gave my angel of a mother a call to see if she could be taxi driver and accompanist, i thought she might enjoy the experience too, as she's not been to any of my appointments yet. She came to pick me up at 11:45 with a packed lunch in tow (told you she was an angel), So i ate my sandwiches in the car on the way there.
When we got there i went and checked in on the computer at the front desk, and asked for a little pot to wee in. I did my sample and sat down next to mum.
It got to 12:10 and i was a getting really nervous, knowing that i had to be back at work in 35 minutes. She called us in at about 12:12.
We did the usual, blood pressure and asking/answering questions, and she asked for details of the scan etc, I told her id felt little movements and made notes. Then finally, she asked for us to listen to the baby. I was even more excited knowing that mum would hear it for the first time,so i lifted my top up and practically dived onto the bed. She commented on my bump, and but the jelly on my tummy. As soon as she put the Doppler on my tummy we could hear little wriggles. Then she pressed in one area and i felt a movement really hard, she said she could even feel it under the Doppler! Must be a strong little Button! Mum was grinning at me, and we heard the little thud thud thud of buttons heartbeat.
Once we'd done that, and asked a few more questions, Heather fetched a doctor in, who prescribed me with some ointment for my eczema.

Me and mum did our usual Wednesday night routine of Aqua aerobics last night, and my cousin Crystal came with us, which was nice. It was really strange, i could feel button so clearly under the water. We had to do side steps the length of the pool. Every single time i went to the left, button wriggled like mad, they must be able to feel the water pushing against them or something. It was really nice, i kept giggling to myself. The instructor said Baby will come out swimming. :)

Love love love xxxx

Magical times!

I now go swimming with mum twice a week, Mondays and Wednesdays. I'm loving it. We always sit and have a drink and a good girly chat afterwards. Last night, Adam text me and asked if we wanted to come home for a cuppa before mum went home. As we walked into the living room Adam had a funny smile on his face. I turned around, and my dream pram with all its accessories was carefully displayed! I literally couldn't believe it for a second. He bought it from a friend from work, she's only had it about 3 months, and now has a new car which it doesn't fit in. Its in such beautiful condition it seems brand new! It isn't the colour i originally wanted, but i love it anyway. It literally has everything! It is a proper pram, with a carry cot, but it turns into a pushchair (which can face either way), highchair, moses basket and car seat. Its amazing! Mum loved it too. We spent about 90 minutes playing about with it. Its come with a parasol, rain cover, fly cover and cosy toes (which was still packaged and should have cost £85).
So we have ended up having my dream pram, which should have cost over £700, for £300! The Chassis is a slightly different one too, its got big wheels and a big old fashioned metal basket, but we're going to buy the swivel wheels chassis from eBay, so we can use both whenever convenient.
I'm besotted with it. I keep looking at it, getting all excited that our baby will be in there soon!

The second really exciting thing is.. i have definitely felt Button move today!!!! It is only a 'flutter' like the midwife described, but its really clear. I thought id felt it a couple of times at work today, but since iv been sat still at home, and able to concentrate on it, I'm 100% certain it was little movements. Adam pressed his hand hard against the area i could feel it, which made it feel even clearer to me. Hopefully Adam will be able to feel it too within the next couple of weeks :)
Its the most exciting thing ever knowing that my tiny person is wriggling around in there!
They are developing taste buds now too :D
Love my clever little Button :)
Think they're asleep now, so I'm going to follow suit!

Love love love xx

The ring of ugh!

For the past few days i thought id been getting bad outbreaks of eczema on my arms and chest, its been driving me mad. I woke up this morning, the patches were itching more than ever and seemed to have spread. They had gone really dark round the outside, like an exact line around the edge, and my neck was starting to swell and itch. I got ready for work and had to battle the urge to scratch on the bus. I popped into the pharmacy when i first got there and they backed up my suspicion that it was possibly 'ringworm' (which sounds disgusting but doesn't actually involve worms at all). When i got to work, Shawna phoned the doctor and i pretty much turn straight back round and got back on the bus. Dr Allen confirmed that it is ringworm, and its contagious but not dangerous. He prescribed me some cream, and said its at the discretion of management at work whether or not i return. The decision was made that i should take the rest of today off, but return tomorrow morning.
I have had 6 baths today to try and soothe the rashes (which seem to have been popping up fast). I don't see working like this being much fun but I'll just have to do my best. I'm wearing a black polo top to cover the majority of the infection, to stop me scratching, and so that patients don't see it.
I was supposed to be going swimming with my mum tonight too, which i was really looking forward to :(
Just to add to the discomfort, heartburn is welcoming itself into the equation now too! Iv woken up in the night with it pretty bad a few times over the past week. Maybe Button will be a little Fluff nut :)
Had some really exciting family news tonight too which has cheered me up no end! Don't think i ought to say what it is yet, but i will definitely be able to within the next couple of weeks! Very exciting!
Iv bought a couple of pregnancy and baby magazines tonight, so I'm going to snuggle up in bed and have a good old read in a minute :)
I literally don't seem to be able to read enough baby info! With the Magazines i got a free car sun shade (with a sunshine and a crab on!), a book of baby names, a 'Maisey story' (which i loved as a child) and a few catalogues, so plenty to be looking through!

I'm glad im finally getting more chance to blog now. I think the motivation of how many people are reading it is really pushing me too! My stats have reached over 2000 now!

Nighty night
Love 'mummy moose' and 'baby Button' xxx

Whoop! Progress :)

I have got my first proper driving lesson tomorrow! I'm so excited, and determined, I'm going to do 3 hours a week, and have worked out that iv got about 20 weeks to crack on with it! I'm going to really get my head down to try and do it as quick as possible, to save money (£20 per hour!). Mum and Dad have both given me money towards it, thank goodness!
Stiiilll haven't had my scan date yet, and I'm 12 weeks this Friday!! (eeek). Chased it up with the hospital, and they claimed to never have received my midwife's letter! It was sent on the 18th Jan! So, instead of doing the simple thing and booking me in while i was on the phone, they said id got to ring Heather back, and get her to resend the letter, and then wait for them to write to me with a date. I rang nearly a week ago now and still haven't heard anything. Going to chase it up again tomorrow. Sickness is getting a lot better, and bump is getting bigger :) Other than that we are all pretty much the same :)

Love love love xxx

11 +4... prune!

There hasn't been a lot happening to really talk about over the past week or so. The sickness is dying down a little bit. It tends to only be in the evenings now, as I'm getting into bed i tend to lay there for 30 Min's ish feeling awful before i manage to nod off. Bus journeys and lunch times have become much easier.
The apple juice craving is back at its strongest! I am consuming at least 1litre a day, and I'm constantly thirsty.
The tiredness is easing slightly too, I'm still pretty sleepy, but better than i have been.
Kelly's had her scan today and found out that she's 13.5 weeks :) She's got 7 lovely photos and is feeling relieved that the first trimester is over.
I literally cannot wait for that feeling, just knowing that everything is perfect, and the 'dodgy' trimester over, would be the best feeling ever. The second trimester is supposed to be the nicest, energy levels should rise, and sickness should vanish with a bit of luck :)
Last week, Adam and I gathered up some courage and watched 'One born every minute'.. a documentary which shows women giving birth in different circumstances. This was such a big step for both of us, as we are both incredibly squeamish. Iv told Adam all along that its totally his decision whether or not he wants to be there for the birth, i know how bad he is and so will not force him to be there, i know i wouldn't like the idea of having to be around to watch it all. So i have left it that he will be there if he wants to be, if not i don't mind, I'll have my mum either way.The only thing iv said is that i want to know before hand whether he is planning to attend.
He came home from football last week and i had 'One born every minute' on when he came in. Id only just put it on, and was hiding behind a cushion and listening in case id switched it on during a graphic c-section or something. Adam immediately looked uncomfortable. I asked if i should switch it off and he said 'no, lets watch it'. We actually watched a little head come out and everything. I was brave, but still ducking behind a cushion every now and then. Adam sat and watched the whole thing! I was so proud of him!
I was in two minds as to whether watching it would be a good idea, i didn't want to freak myself out even more, but it actually made me feel a lot better. It was a pretty calm one for us to have started with.
We still haven't had our 12 week scan date yet, so I'm going to chase it up tomorrow just to make sure they haven't forgotten us. I'm really looking forward to it.
The weeks are going so fast its scary!
Adam bought his first ever baby items the other day!! Two cream baby grows.. a 'i love mummy' one with a bunny on, and an 'i love daddy' one with a teddy on! He also got a little cream hooded fleecy jumper with both the bunny and teddy on, it has ears on the hood! He was really excited about them, which was so lovely! I'll post photos of them tomorrow when iv charged the camera.
I think bump must have grown a bit the past week or so, this past week iv had a lot of comments from patients, asking when I'm due etc, they must be pretty convinced I'm pregnant and not just fat for them to comment! Threre's no hiding it now!
One lady was sat with her little girl, she said 'look lily, this lady's having a baby. It doesn't look like its going to be in her tummy for much longer!'.. She was so shocked when i told her I'm only 11 weeks! She has decided i am having at least 3 babies, and is coming back in 4 weeks to find out!
Button is now the size of a prune by the way, which i think is rather a cute thought :)
Anyway bed time for the Elce family :)

Night all, love love love xxxx

Pooorlyish :(

I haven't been very well these past few days. Ended up rushing to an emergency doctor on Friday due to a referral i had from work for having blood in my ear. I seem to be being taken over by nasty infections :(
We stayed at mums on Saturday night, so that i could get to work on Sunday, it was really nice as Abi (my sister) and Paul were over from Norfolk, so it gave us a lot of time together which we don't get very often. After tea, Adam and Paul sat at the table with their laptops talking about football and boys stuff. Me, Mum and Abi went and sat in the living room and had a really detailed conversation about childbirth. It was really nice to ask all my questions, and its made me feel a great deal better. It made me realise i was actually quite naive about the whole thing, and need to stop believing everything i see on TV.
I woke up feeling awful on Sunday morning, i kept having really hot flushes, where i would literally break into a sweat, and i had a really bad headache. I managed to get through my three hour shift at work, and got back to mums to a beautiful Sunday dinner, my step sister Claire, her husband Liam and my little niece Emilie came to join us. It was really nice to have everyone together. Almost as soon as id finished my pudding i felt really sick, and could barely keep my eyes open. So i excused myself and went upstairs to lie down. I only planned to rest for about 20 minutes but ended up being there for well over an hour, i then had to force myself to get up.
I was quite poorly in the night last night, waking up in hot sweats and shivering etc so iv had to have the day off today, which i hate doing.
I am managing to control the pain and temperature with paracetamol, but i don't even like taking them. Iv slept loads today so hopefully I'll shake it off pretty quick because i have got to go to work tomorrow!
According to one of my apps, our baby is now the size of a 'green olive'!! Why its specifically a green one, i don't know!
We officially have not agreed on one single boys name as of yet! We've been through thousands and just don't agree at all. We have two girls names which we both love, so its just a matter of choosing which we want to go with. We even have a middle name chosen for a little girl!

Bump is still pretty huge, and has got even more solid! Will put another picture on within the next few days!

Love love love xxx

A sigh of relief!

I have finally got my assessments over and done with (mainly). I really surprised myself with how well i did. There were so many things i thought i would fail on, and it all went really smoothly really. I actually ended up having a pretty enjoyable couple of days. We ended up running out of time, so i have got a couple of other bits to complete in a couple of weeks, and theres a few pages of my book iv got to finish off, but as soon as thats done i should be well on the way to my next certificate.

That really is a huge load off my mind. Months of worrying over, i don't know what i was so bothered about.

We had our first midwife appointment on Tuesday morning. Our midwife is called Heather, and she's lovely. We got given loads of books and leaflets to read and she gave us tons of information. She measured and weighed me, took my blood pressure, went through our family medical history and asked lots of questions. We have come to the decision that the baby will be born at Bassetlaw hospital in Worksop, as its slightly closer to our house, but its also on the same road that Adam works on. Heather told us that because of some difficulties i have, and some medical history, i will have to attend more than the average number of appointments. Usually we would have all of our appointments at the doctors surgery, and only scans at the hospital. We will have to have additional consultations at the hospital to keep a good check on everything, which is pretty reassuring. At the end of the appointment, i had my blood tests. Which i have such a phobia of. I get myself in such a state for ages before hand and often end up close to fainting before iv even been called in. I really am proud of how calm i stayed. As usual, i was a little bit worked up before hand. But once it came to actually doing it, id been so distracted by baby talk and gotten so excited by it all, i literally stuck my arm out and chatted my way through it. Still, i far from enjoyed it, but thats the bravest i have ever been. Heather was really pleased with me, however she said i did go totally white while she was doing it. She fetched me a glass of water, and gave me a sympathy plaster and called Adam back in.

I feel like iv really made a big step with that phobia, and was really excited when Heather told me i would only have to have one more throughout the whole pregnancy!

An abrupt end to my relief came this afternoon... Heather phoned. My bloods have got stuck in a shoot at Kings Mill hospital, so iv got to go and have them done again. I cant believe it. Iv got to try and just remember that i found it a piece of cake last time, and that the thought is worse than actually having it. I'm sure i'll be fine.

Had a nice day today. Came to mums on the bus, and we've spent all afternoon going round looking at pushchairs. I am now absolutely besotted with my Ultima 9 in 1. I had wondered, whilst looking at it online, whether it might be quite heavy. Having pushed it round the shop today (with a teddy in!) it really isn't at all. Its very lightweight, and easy to put up and down. It does everything, and looks beautiful, and so comfy. I really do love it. The dark denim (city scape) colour looks fantastic too!

I plan to try and get Adam to Mamas and Papas on Sunday to show him, i think he'll really love it.

I have suddenly started weeing twice as often! I was going quite a lot anyway, but over the past week it seems to have become so much more frequent! I have now started to average 6 toilet trips a night, which is quite inconvenient! Its now literally every hour during the day too!

In fact, i'm going to finish here for tonight, because im desperate right now!!

Love to all xxxxx

"Pregnant Princess"

Sorry i haven't blogged for a while, I'm up to my neck, drowning in revision for my assessments, which by the way, i still wish i could fast forward through. I am not looking forward to them one little bit. The idea of them is keeping me awake at night.It'll be heavenly when they are over and done with!!

There isn't really a great deal more to say at the moment, the sickness is still only just bareable, I'm still exhausted but I'm loving it all. Apparently if u stretched button out, from head to toe is about 4cm!! But its much comfier to curl up at the moment :)

I went to Asda with mum and Adam last night, mums bought me some black maternity jeans, and black work trousers, a little denim maternity skirt and tights which I'm going to give her money for. I can literally only fit in maternity stuff now! I got a nice black maternity dress too for Shawna's 21st Birthday Bash which is in a couple of weeks, so now i can stop worrying about what I'm going to wear for that :)

Its the 'baby event' at Asda too, and there were some amazing deals, such as a car seat for £25!! So we bought a set of bottles and sterilizer, which was reduced to a fantastic £10!!

Iv had a rather lovely day today. Went to a car boot sale with mum and Chris, which was hardly worth the 75p entry fee as there was literally nothing there! Then we had a drive to Sutton and had a look round Matalan. We bought a few bits from here too, some little white socks (pack of 5) 3 Neutral feeding cloths and a fluffy reindeer hat and gloves which is adorable!! We also found the most amazing maternity top, its white with 'Pregnant Princess' written on in swirly letters!! :D

There's some really nice baby stuff in there, changing mats, outfits, bedding etc so I'm definitely planning a trip with Adam once we've been paid!

Once we got back to mums, we spent a couple of hours looking online at different prams. We saw an amazing one, which i have since shown Adam, and he loves it as much as i do! Its a 9 way pram, which means it would last Button a long time, and we needn't buy a car seat, a moses basket or maybe even a highchair! It does everything!! It is a little out of our budget though £635, reduced from £835!! But there are some on EBay in fantastic condition for a lot less!

If you cant see the pictures at the top very clearly, you can see a larger image of them if you go on www.mamasandpapas.com and type in 'Ultima 9 in 1' .

Right, time for me to get back to exciting old revision :( Lucky me!

Love to all xxxxxx

A week gone by.. 2/1/11 14:47

Well it has now been a whole week since we found out about Button, and what a week it has been! Kelly went for her scan, and found out that she isn't actually 10.5 weeks, she is 6.5! (7 now). Which means that these babies could be born pretty close together! :)
I have booked my first midwife appointment, which is on Wednesday 26th January at 9:30am. This feels like a million years away to me at the moment, but I'm sure it'll come round soon enough. I just desperately want my first scan, I just want to know everythings OK, and exactly how far we really are. If it was so wrong for Kelly, it could be for me too.
According to my apps, i am now 5 weeks and 3 days, but i just don't feel like its that reliable now.
I know its supposed to be bad luck to buy things so early on, but i have some opinions:
There are some massive January sales on, IE. HALF PRICE in mothercare and Mamas and Papas, which could literally save us HUNDREDS of pounds! Therefore if we don't buy things now, we will have to pay double the amount in a few months time, which to me seems silly.
Heaven forbid anything goes wrong with Button, we will at least have the stuff ready for when the time is right. (But anyway, i cant even bare the thought of anything going wrong, so it wont!).
My mums already bought a few bits, which is rather sweet. Mainly maternity clothes for me, but she's constantly watching EBay, and has bought Button a bouncy chair too :)

I certainly am starting to feel pregnant now i think. The queasiness is really taking a hold, it comes and goes throughout the day and is less than pleasant, but nothing i cant handle.
I am weeing (on average) about 12 times a day, and 4 each night at the moment, which probably has a lot to do with the fact that I'm drinking for England! I cant get enough of apple juice at the moment, which i suppose cant be a bad thing.
I am tending to hit 14:30 every day and suddenly become absolutely shattered. Iv noticed that its almost bang on that time every single day! I'll be fine one minute, and the next its a full on battle to keep my eyes open! So early nights are becoming a must.
I'm also taking some vitamin tablets, which contain folic acid + 18 different vitamins and minerals that are essential during pregnancy.

I'm hoping to fetch some newspaper later today, to cut out rough measurements of nursery furniture, do get a rough idea of how much space we have to play with. Iv been really impatient this week, i just want to be doing something. Be it appointments, baby shopping, reading about labour, anything. I feel like iv got ages to wait before i can really do anything.

One thing i have thought a lot about this week is the fact i cant yet drive. There is absolutely no way i want to be unable to drive when Button arrives. We live in a small village where the buses are rare, and only go in one direction, and i really don't want to be struggling to get on and off with a pram.
I have been wanting to learn for ages, its just been a matter of getting on and sorting it, but the idea of not being able to potter off to meadowhall, or to see family and freinds with Button for the year we may have off together seems to be the push i need. Therefore my updated (married version) or my provisional licence is currently being ordered, and i hope to be starting my lessons, 3 hours a week, next Thursday.
Fingers crossed with that!

Love always xxxxxx X