Tough decisions..

This blog post is a little different. Its not about Isabelle, pregnancy or anything baby related at all. Its also different because i would like the opinion of each and every person who reads it.It's something I'm struggling to make about, so would like as many points of view as possible, So please comment below with your thoughts..

I possibly have some very difficult decisions coming up in my life, they keep going round and round in my head, yet I'm getting no closer to deciding how i feel about them, or what I'd want to do.

My mum got Breast cancer when i was 14, and then again when i was 16. They were very rare types and she was incredibly ill, in fact, it was touch and go at times. I find this very hard to even think about, but at the moment its something I'm thinking about a lot.
Because the type of cancer was a rare, and very dangerous one, joined with the fact that she got it twice within two years make her case very unusual. Therefore she has been part of a study for a while.
She has been asked to go and have tests to find our whether or not she is a genetic carrier of it. If she is, it could mean my sister and i are at a much higher risk of getting it. We then have to decide whether or not we want to be tested to see if we have the gene. This could tell us whether we are likely to get it over the next few years. If we do have it, we will have a very high risk of getting it at some point.
So, do i want to know??
Would i live my life worrying about it? I worry that I'd feel like I'm living with a time bomb, spending my life waiting for the cancer to surface, would it ruin everything?
Or am i better to know? Would it make me more alert to the signs?
Of course, if the tests show i haven't got the gene, it doesn't mean i cant get cancer, it just means i have the same chance as everyone else. I believe the current statistics is 1 in 6 people get it.. so imagine my stats if i have the gene. It's so scary.
The other big decision, is that if we had the tests and we do have it, we could opt to have voluntary surgery, in the form of a double mastectomy (both breasts removed), which means we wouldn't ever be able to get that type of cancer. It sounds dramatic, especially as we wouldn't ever know whether it was necessary or not. However, it is such a dangerous form of cancer, my mum was very lucky, and very strong to beat it.
One thing that i cant stop thinking about is that i have my little girl to think about  now. I was the hardest time of my life seeing my mum go through everything she did. So many operations, losing her hair, months of chemo which made her so ill, followed by months of radiotherapy. And we still never really knew what was going to happen. My mum is my world and i haven't even been able to write this without crying. I hate what she went through, and i never want Isabelle to have to watch me go through that.
Sometimes, thinking about not wanting to do it, almost seems vain, when having that operation could prevent so much heartache for my family, my reasons for not doing it are purely personal. Maybe that should answer my question.
Its tricky too because my sister Abi has already made her mind up, she wakes up every day wondering if she's going to get it, so finding out could only change things in a positive way for her if she doesn't have it. But then if i don't find out, and i find out she's got it, how would i feel?
Either way, i think i need to put a hell of a lot of thought into this,  it may not be something i have to worry about anyway. Mums results could come back saying she isn't a carrier. Problem solved. 

Things i want you to comment about..
Would you want to know whether or not you have it?
What are your thoughts on the operation?
Any men reading this, how do you feel about it if it was yourself? But also, if it was your partner, how would you feel?

As many opinions as possible please :)
xxx