Pooorlyish :(

I haven't been very well these past few days. Ended up rushing to an emergency doctor on Friday due to a referral i had from work for having blood in my ear. I seem to be being taken over by nasty infections :(
We stayed at mums on Saturday night, so that i could get to work on Sunday, it was really nice as Abi (my sister) and Paul were over from Norfolk, so it gave us a lot of time together which we don't get very often. After tea, Adam and Paul sat at the table with their laptops talking about football and boys stuff. Me, Mum and Abi went and sat in the living room and had a really detailed conversation about childbirth. It was really nice to ask all my questions, and its made me feel a great deal better. It made me realise i was actually quite naive about the whole thing, and need to stop believing everything i see on TV.
I woke up feeling awful on Sunday morning, i kept having really hot flushes, where i would literally break into a sweat, and i had a really bad headache. I managed to get through my three hour shift at work, and got back to mums to a beautiful Sunday dinner, my step sister Claire, her husband Liam and my little niece Emilie came to join us. It was really nice to have everyone together. Almost as soon as id finished my pudding i felt really sick, and could barely keep my eyes open. So i excused myself and went upstairs to lie down. I only planned to rest for about 20 minutes but ended up being there for well over an hour, i then had to force myself to get up.
I was quite poorly in the night last night, waking up in hot sweats and shivering etc so iv had to have the day off today, which i hate doing.
I am managing to control the pain and temperature with paracetamol, but i don't even like taking them. Iv slept loads today so hopefully I'll shake it off pretty quick because i have got to go to work tomorrow!
According to one of my apps, our baby is now the size of a 'green olive'!! Why its specifically a green one, i don't know!
We officially have not agreed on one single boys name as of yet! We've been through thousands and just don't agree at all. We have two girls names which we both love, so its just a matter of choosing which we want to go with. We even have a middle name chosen for a little girl!

Bump is still pretty huge, and has got even more solid! Will put another picture on within the next few days!

Love love love xxx

8 + 4!

I cant believe we are already 8 weeks and four days pregnant! Its gone pretty quick really. The sickness is still terrible, especially on bus journeys, and i am weeing almost constantly (except when the midwife asks me to, which is annoying!). Today's sample was nothing short of embarrassing, it didn't even cover the powder stuff in the bottom of the pot! So she's given me a pot to bring home and do as homework. Ha ha. I only went this morning to repeat my blood test really, which i was fabulous at yet again! (proud!!)
My friend had her 12 week scan yesterday and its got me so excited! Its such a clear picture! You can see the baby's bottom lip, and little toes and everything in so much detail! It just doesn't seem real that our baby will be that developed in only 3.5 weeks! We absolutely cannot wait for our scan, its going to be amazing knowing that we will see button in such detail. Last time was exciting, but we were sort of prepared to not be able to see much, whereas this time will be totally different. I'm really hoping that our appointment will be on valentines day, it would be so special.
My energy levels seemed to be a little better for a few days, but I'm working a 6 day week this week, and every day has been 100% hectic, so I'm feeling pretty shattered and ready for a day off! I really need to try and get stuff done on Thursday though, every night i come home and collapse on the sofa, so i could really do with a day of housework to catch up a bit again.
On a positive financial note, Adam had bought me an iMac computer for my birthday, which he had put on finance, with everything that's been going on i haven't even opened it yet, and it was mainly for my recording studio, which isn't a priority anymore. We were really doubtful that we'd have any chance of cancelling the contract, but Adam rang last night, and we have returned the mac tonight, and managed to cancel everything. Which is going to save us quite a bit of money!

Will let you all know as soon as we get our Scan date :)

and P.S Just checked my blog stats, and iv almost had 700 views :')

Love love love xxxxxx

A sigh of relief!

I have finally got my assessments over and done with (mainly). I really surprised myself with how well i did. There were so many things i thought i would fail on, and it all went really smoothly really. I actually ended up having a pretty enjoyable couple of days. We ended up running out of time, so i have got a couple of other bits to complete in a couple of weeks, and theres a few pages of my book iv got to finish off, but as soon as thats done i should be well on the way to my next certificate.

That really is a huge load off my mind. Months of worrying over, i don't know what i was so bothered about.

We had our first midwife appointment on Tuesday morning. Our midwife is called Heather, and she's lovely. We got given loads of books and leaflets to read and she gave us tons of information. She measured and weighed me, took my blood pressure, went through our family medical history and asked lots of questions. We have come to the decision that the baby will be born at Bassetlaw hospital in Worksop, as its slightly closer to our house, but its also on the same road that Adam works on. Heather told us that because of some difficulties i have, and some medical history, i will have to attend more than the average number of appointments. Usually we would have all of our appointments at the doctors surgery, and only scans at the hospital. We will have to have additional consultations at the hospital to keep a good check on everything, which is pretty reassuring. At the end of the appointment, i had my blood tests. Which i have such a phobia of. I get myself in such a state for ages before hand and often end up close to fainting before iv even been called in. I really am proud of how calm i stayed. As usual, i was a little bit worked up before hand. But once it came to actually doing it, id been so distracted by baby talk and gotten so excited by it all, i literally stuck my arm out and chatted my way through it. Still, i far from enjoyed it, but thats the bravest i have ever been. Heather was really pleased with me, however she said i did go totally white while she was doing it. She fetched me a glass of water, and gave me a sympathy plaster and called Adam back in.

I feel like iv really made a big step with that phobia, and was really excited when Heather told me i would only have to have one more throughout the whole pregnancy!

An abrupt end to my relief came this afternoon... Heather phoned. My bloods have got stuck in a shoot at Kings Mill hospital, so iv got to go and have them done again. I cant believe it. Iv got to try and just remember that i found it a piece of cake last time, and that the thought is worse than actually having it. I'm sure i'll be fine.

Had a nice day today. Came to mums on the bus, and we've spent all afternoon going round looking at pushchairs. I am now absolutely besotted with my Ultima 9 in 1. I had wondered, whilst looking at it online, whether it might be quite heavy. Having pushed it round the shop today (with a teddy in!) it really isn't at all. Its very lightweight, and easy to put up and down. It does everything, and looks beautiful, and so comfy. I really do love it. The dark denim (city scape) colour looks fantastic too!

I plan to try and get Adam to Mamas and Papas on Sunday to show him, i think he'll really love it.

I have suddenly started weeing twice as often! I was going quite a lot anyway, but over the past week it seems to have become so much more frequent! I have now started to average 6 toilet trips a night, which is quite inconvenient! Its now literally every hour during the day too!

In fact, i'm going to finish here for tonight, because im desperate right now!!

Love to all xxxxx

"Pregnant Princess"

Sorry i haven't blogged for a while, I'm up to my neck, drowning in revision for my assessments, which by the way, i still wish i could fast forward through. I am not looking forward to them one little bit. The idea of them is keeping me awake at night.It'll be heavenly when they are over and done with!!

There isn't really a great deal more to say at the moment, the sickness is still only just bareable, I'm still exhausted but I'm loving it all. Apparently if u stretched button out, from head to toe is about 4cm!! But its much comfier to curl up at the moment :)

I went to Asda with mum and Adam last night, mums bought me some black maternity jeans, and black work trousers, a little denim maternity skirt and tights which I'm going to give her money for. I can literally only fit in maternity stuff now! I got a nice black maternity dress too for Shawna's 21st Birthday Bash which is in a couple of weeks, so now i can stop worrying about what I'm going to wear for that :)

Its the 'baby event' at Asda too, and there were some amazing deals, such as a car seat for £25!! So we bought a set of bottles and sterilizer, which was reduced to a fantastic £10!!

Iv had a rather lovely day today. Went to a car boot sale with mum and Chris, which was hardly worth the 75p entry fee as there was literally nothing there! Then we had a drive to Sutton and had a look round Matalan. We bought a few bits from here too, some little white socks (pack of 5) 3 Neutral feeding cloths and a fluffy reindeer hat and gloves which is adorable!! We also found the most amazing maternity top, its white with 'Pregnant Princess' written on in swirly letters!! :D

There's some really nice baby stuff in there, changing mats, outfits, bedding etc so I'm definitely planning a trip with Adam once we've been paid!

Once we got back to mums, we spent a couple of hours looking online at different prams. We saw an amazing one, which i have since shown Adam, and he loves it as much as i do! Its a 9 way pram, which means it would last Button a long time, and we needn't buy a car seat, a moses basket or maybe even a highchair! It does everything!! It is a little out of our budget though £635, reduced from £835!! But there are some on EBay in fantastic condition for a lot less!

If you cant see the pictures at the top very clearly, you can see a larger image of them if you go on www.mamasandpapas.com and type in 'Ultima 9 in 1' .

Right, time for me to get back to exciting old revision :( Lucky me!

Love to all xxxxxx

Hot stuff!

OK so the 'beautiful dinner' i talk about in the previous post may not be as beautiful as i first thought, or i could cure some weird pregnancy craving! Adam has mixed up gravy, with curry powder! This is sure going to be interesting...

Love love love xxx

Bad day :(

Today has been a bad day, literally from setting off this morning its been no fun. I started the day feeling pretty chuffed with myself, as i got up in plenty of time to wash and dry my hair, iron my uniform and pack myself a lunch. I had a stroll to the bus stop with plenty of time to spare. Looking back, i don't know how i managed to get through the journey, the sickness was almost unbarable. As i was about to step off the bus, it jolted down (as if to let a pushchair on), this is normally done as a gentle release, but it was one sudden jerking movement which sent me flying. My bags went flying and i hit the concrete flat on. I lay there for a second, confused, blood was dripping out of my mouth and i could feel the scuffs on my knees and chin, the only thing i could think was 'have i hurt my baby'. Nobody even offered me a hand, or picked my bags up, people just walked straight by. I got up, shaking, and didn't even acknowledge the blood, i walked in a daze clutching onto my tummy praying i hadn't done any important damage. After a few minutes i had a quick drink of water to rinse away the blood in my mouth, and went into Subway. There i went into the toilet to check i had all of my teeth, and gave my chin and my knees a little wipe. I wanted to cry, i felt like a child. It wasn't the pain of the grazes, it was the fear of what i could have done, and the shock that nobody was willing to help me. I trembled into work and stumbled over words trying to ask Shawna for an antiseptic wipe. She looked puzzled at me and asked me what id done to my chin. I just burst into tears. She took me round the back and sat me down, cleaned me up and got me a drink of water. What a lovely start to the day.
Work was manic today, every time i turned round we had a new que of patients at the front desk. It was a pretty stressful day, and i found myself counting down the hours until i could go home. We were 30 minutes late leaving due to a late dispense, which convinced me i had missed my lift home with Amber. When we finally got out, i rushed round to D&A and luckily for me everyone had been held behind there too. I nipped into MacDonald's while i waited and got a drink and some chips for us both, as i felt weak with hunger. Amber soon came out and we set off for the car. As we got outside the Swan pub in the town centre, we saw a man on the floor and a girl screaming for help knelt beside him, the man was bleeding quite badly, had had a fit and was foaming at the mouth. There was a girl in a nearby telephone box already on the phone to the ambulance service. We rushed over, both of us froze for a moment as we panicked and went blank. We got the man into the recovery position and i checked his airways. We cushioned his head and i began to talk loudly to him. The girl in the phone box was getting upset and struggling to talk to the operator, as she knew the man, so i ran over to take over for her. Amber stood at the entrance to the phone box and shouted questions and instructions at the girls as the woman talked me through everything. We stayed on the phone until we saw the blue flashing light Amber went out and waved the ambulance over, and they started seeing to the man. We hung around for a few seconds and then made our way back to the car. Adrenaline pumping through both of us. Since getting home, all i can bare to do is sleep. Its pretty frustrating for me as there's so much i want to do, but i can barely keep my eyes open. Adams been fantastic. I told him to let me sleep for 20 minutes before waking me up to start dinner. I woke up over an hour later to find that he has cleaned the whole kitchen and is doing dinner himself (home made shepherds pie ) :)
I feel really bad for him though, he is ending up doing all the work because I'm almost to exhausted to hold my own head up. I have felt really rough since waking up. Been violently sick upstairs and I'm aching everywhere. I actually feel ill rather than pregnant tonight. But i have got my appetite back a little bit after smelling the yummy dinner that's being cooked for me as i type :)
I love my Adam, he's a fantastic husband and has been such great help to me throughout this pregnancy. I just hope he isn't getting fed up with all the work he's been doing, I'm hoping the exhaustion wont last to much longer, and I'll be back to my energetic self, able to really start working hard around our beautiful house.

Lets hope tomorrow is a better day!

Love always xxxx

:) :)

Just incase u didnt catch that.....

Button has a heart beat!!

Eeeeeek!

Im so proud!!

:')

The first big moment!

Well to say how hyped up I'd got myself about this mornings scan, i came out a little disappointed! :(

I had prepared myself for not seeing a great deal, as i am aware that Button is very tiny, but to be honest, i barely saw anything at all.

I actually managed a reasonable nights sleep last night, although i did wake up occasionally with sickening butterflies dancing around inside me, but not a bad night all in all.
I felt sick all the way to the hospital, literally dizzy with questions spinning in my head, but seeing Adams pure excitement made me feel a lot better.
By the time they finally took me in for my scan, i was bursting for a wee, so the cold jelly and pressing on my bladder almost proved to much. The radiographer worried me a little at first, i was trying to look on the screen, and she said "put your head back, I'll show you when i manage to see anything myself'". This made my head spin and the next few moments feel like a lifetime. Did she think there could be nothing to find? What if there was no baby?? I had to literally fight back the tears at this point. Finally she turned the screen. She showed up a fairly large grey area that was the pregnancy sac (ugh that word makes me feel sick), and a tiny white dot at the side (BUTTON!! :') ) I was trying to turn to see it properly without knocking her off of me, i so desperately wanted to see. I saw the little white spec for a mere second and she moved it. She told us that there was a good heartbeat, that button is in exactly the right place, and everything is going as it should be. I felt relieved but so disappointed at the same time, i really hoped to see more.
I thought, maybe i would see better on the photo, when i could look at it from a decent angle for as long as i needed, but we didn't even get one. It was all a bit of a rush, but now, looking back, I'm really quite upset that we didn't get a picture. Even though its probably that there wasn't a lot to see, that picture would have taken pride of place in my living room until a clearer one comes along. I don't like the fact that we have no record of the first time we've ever seen our baby :(
We then got taken back into another room to finish off the appointment with a finishing consultation, where they told me that the reason for my size is that I'm carrying a lot of water, which is apparently fine, and will sort itself out. It just means that i have to lug around a load of extra weight for longer.
Had a terrible journey home on the bus tonight, i literally had to sit doing breathing exercises to stop myself from being sick. Someone today suggested taking little cartons of apple juice to sip on, that certainly sounds like a plan i don't mind trying!
There's a programme on tonight called 'One born every minute' which gives detailed accounts of different women during labour. I have never yet had the guts to watch this, and don't know whether it would do me any favours or totally freak me out, so please comment with your opinions!

On a very happy note, I'm finding it rather exciting to see how many people are actually reading this blog! Sometimes i feel a little daft, as though I'm sat babbling on to myself, but seeing that i am flying through HUNDREDS of page views, spreading right across the world makes it so exciting. Its nice to know that people are following our little story :) I'm absolutely LOVING writing it!
Please feel free to write any comments of questions.

Love to all!
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ugh :(

OK, so i just had a coffee with one sugar in to try and get some energy, and now i feel as sick as a duck on steroids :(

Lesson of the day:

Don't drink coffee!

Over and Out xx

Apple Juice Apple Juice Apple Juice :/

Well, my four Litres of Apple Juice have gone in a couple of days. I cant actually believe how strongly I'm craving it, iv always been more of an Orange Juice kinda girl! I wouldn't actually be surprised if button came out a bit greenish!
Well, nerves are running high about tomorrows scan, i didn't get a great deal of sleep last night, so god help me tonight! Adams really excited about it, he's talked about it loads.
Just found out that i had my wires crossed a little though, apparently we wont HEAR Buttons heartbeat, but we might see it as a little flicker on the screen. That will still be amazing though so I'm very excited. I just wish i could calm my nerves over the whole thing. Iv got so many questions whizzing round my head that I'm hoping tomorrow will answer.
Gotta try and keep my cool the next couple of weeks too. Iv got some big things coming up at work that iv been stressing myself about for the past few months. I have to be assessed in order to pass my course and get the pay rise that we so desperately could do with now. But i just tend to turn to jelly when i know I'm being watched, or when questions are fired at me. I really don't feel like I'm going to pass, at all, and i think I'll be lucky if i get through the two days without bursting into tears, but to be honest, i just want it to be over now. The thought of not having to worry about it anymore feels like heaven, so I'll do my best and keep my fingers crossed.
Going to try and get some work don't today. There is so much to be done around the house, but iv been so exhausted. I hate just sitting here, seeing how much there is to do though. I just need to find the energy to crack on with it.
I was hoping to get some carpet for baby's room while the sales are on. I don't see this as a 'baby buy' that could be unlucky, we were wanting to decorate anyway. Pregnant or not, we need new carpets :p
The past couple of days iv been embarrassingly emotional. I actually sat and cried for about half an hour yesterday morning, because i felt 'alone' :/ I then watched a few episodes of Eastenders, and cried at that. Then when Adam came home we watched Toy Story 3, and i SOBBED at that! And i just generally feel like i could burst into tears at any time. Its not that I'm sad. Not at all. I'm still over the moon and loving every second, i guess its just hormones, maybe mixed with paranoia.
Anyway, I'll pop back on later for another short blog (maybe in the middle of the night when i cant sleep).

Love always xxxxxxxx

Scan :)

Well due to my bump size and a few minor worries we now have our first scan booked for Monday morning at 8:40 ( 10/1/11). I am so excited and so scared at the same time. Here are the four main things on my mind:

* Is everything going to be ok?
* Will it be more than one baby? And if so how will we afford it?
*Am i alot further than we think? And if so how much time have we got to get everything sorted?
* If i am only 6 weeks, its worrying that i am already the size of 14 weeks+.

I dont see myself getting a great amount of sleep on Sunday night, but i need to try and relax.
Things have seemed strange today, iv had very little sickness, I didnt hit my clockwork exhaustion at 2:30 and iv had a few rather unplesant shooting pains, which i spoke to a midwife about. She told me to either book in with my GP (which is practically impossible unless u know u need an appointment 3 weeks in advance) or to go to A&E if it got considerably worse. Its been a really strange feeling all day, but i havent felt the need to go to A&E, and i now have two days off to chillout before my scan on monday.
Its funny how, iv gotten so used to feeling queasey and tired, iv been worried about not feeling like that!
We had a lovely little moment last night at Asda. We popped upstairs for a brief look round the baby section and to get me some much needed granny pants. As we were browsing tiny little romper suits and teeny little socks, i looked up at Adam and he had the proudest look on his face and a little tear in his eye. He said ' i cant believe im going to be buying tiny little outfits for my baby soon' and gave me a big hug. It was so nice. Adams always been very loving, but he's not one to show emotion like that, so it was a really special moment for us.

My cravings list that we purchased from Asda are as follows:
* 4x cartons of apple juice
1x Jar of Marmite
2x Giant jars of Beetroot
2X Packs of Billy Bear!

Another emotional moment for me was taking the christmas tree down yesterday. Next time we get that out, we will have our baby! Buttons first Christmas :')
It will be amazing to hear Buttons heartbeat for the first ever time on Monday. We are so excited :) And we'll hopefully have a little picture to put on too :)

XxXxXxXxXxXx

My unusually large bump :/

Its really hard, and stays the same when i sit down, it doesnt flab or roll up or anything, Just a solid little bump. Quite concerned. Comments please xxx

5+6??

I'm beginning to get myself a little concerned. I am only supposedly 5 weeks + 6 days, yet i seem to be getting a pretty solid bump. Adam held it last night, and everyone at work has been having a look and a feel today and everyone thinks i may be a fair amount further than that. People have been commenting lots. I have explained that i did eat a fair amount over Christmas, but normally, when i put weight on, it spreads all over, hips, thighs, bum, face, arms usually. This can be mistaken for nothing but a very tidy bump. Its quite hard too, not flabby or anything. So i rang the doctors today and explained, and she's brought my Midwife appointment forward by a week, therefore i still have two weeks left to wait :(
I'll maybe take a photo later on and put it on.
It would be quite exciting to be closer to my 12 week mark than i thought, but we have lots of saving to do so i don't want to wish the time away!
All this has been making me think allot lately, my last period was freakishly short for me. Usually they would last a minimum of 6 days, and often go on for 7 or 8, but my last one was only 2.5 days :/ so maybe i am further than we think, only time will tell.
Adams made a fantastic spreadsheet at work today, with all our incomings and outgoings on. Its pretty scary to see it all written down like that. Things are going to be tight. Every spare penny we have needs to go towards Button :)

Adam told a couple of his work friends today, and it made me laugh how he said it. Here's how it went:
ADAM: Did u have a nice Christmas Linda?
LINDA: Yes thanks did you? What did you get?
ADAM: Ooo lots of things, A phone, a razor, a sander, a baby, a chocolate orange..
LINDA: A what???
ADAM: A chocolate orange :/ :p
This made me chuckle lots!
Anyway, i might blog a again in a bit more detail later (not that there's much more to say) but for the moment, i can barely keep my eyes open, It is heading on for 7pm after all! :p

xxxxxx

I love this pram!!!

I keep seeing this pram and i love it so much! Its got cup holders, a decent sized basket, clock, themometer, i just think its utterly beautiful :)

Baby faces you while they're tiny too :)

A week gone by.. 2/1/11 14:47

Well it has now been a whole week since we found out about Button, and what a week it has been! Kelly went for her scan, and found out that she isn't actually 10.5 weeks, she is 6.5! (7 now). Which means that these babies could be born pretty close together! :)
I have booked my first midwife appointment, which is on Wednesday 26th January at 9:30am. This feels like a million years away to me at the moment, but I'm sure it'll come round soon enough. I just desperately want my first scan, I just want to know everythings OK, and exactly how far we really are. If it was so wrong for Kelly, it could be for me too.
According to my apps, i am now 5 weeks and 3 days, but i just don't feel like its that reliable now.
I know its supposed to be bad luck to buy things so early on, but i have some opinions:
There are some massive January sales on, IE. HALF PRICE in mothercare and Mamas and Papas, which could literally save us HUNDREDS of pounds! Therefore if we don't buy things now, we will have to pay double the amount in a few months time, which to me seems silly.
Heaven forbid anything goes wrong with Button, we will at least have the stuff ready for when the time is right. (But anyway, i cant even bare the thought of anything going wrong, so it wont!).
My mums already bought a few bits, which is rather sweet. Mainly maternity clothes for me, but she's constantly watching EBay, and has bought Button a bouncy chair too :)

I certainly am starting to feel pregnant now i think. The queasiness is really taking a hold, it comes and goes throughout the day and is less than pleasant, but nothing i cant handle.
I am weeing (on average) about 12 times a day, and 4 each night at the moment, which probably has a lot to do with the fact that I'm drinking for England! I cant get enough of apple juice at the moment, which i suppose cant be a bad thing.
I am tending to hit 14:30 every day and suddenly become absolutely shattered. Iv noticed that its almost bang on that time every single day! I'll be fine one minute, and the next its a full on battle to keep my eyes open! So early nights are becoming a must.
I'm also taking some vitamin tablets, which contain folic acid + 18 different vitamins and minerals that are essential during pregnancy.

I'm hoping to fetch some newspaper later today, to cut out rough measurements of nursery furniture, do get a rough idea of how much space we have to play with. Iv been really impatient this week, i just want to be doing something. Be it appointments, baby shopping, reading about labour, anything. I feel like iv got ages to wait before i can really do anything.

One thing i have thought a lot about this week is the fact i cant yet drive. There is absolutely no way i want to be unable to drive when Button arrives. We live in a small village where the buses are rare, and only go in one direction, and i really don't want to be struggling to get on and off with a pram.
I have been wanting to learn for ages, its just been a matter of getting on and sorting it, but the idea of not being able to potter off to meadowhall, or to see family and freinds with Button for the year we may have off together seems to be the push i need. Therefore my updated (married version) or my provisional licence is currently being ordered, and i hope to be starting my lessons, 3 hours a week, next Thursday.
Fingers crossed with that!

Love always xxxxxx X