Lots to tell... 21+4

Yet again, i have failed miserably as a blogger! I cant believe it has been nearly two weeks! May i begin this post by firstly congratulating a friend of ours, Lizz, and her partner Mitch, on the birth of their beautiful daughter Alice. Lizz was the one who inspired me to start this blog, i love every second of reading hers, and its nice to compare our pregnancies and to know that everything that's happening with me, is experienced by others too. Alice is a credit to them both, a truly wonderful little person!

So many things have happened since i last blogged, iv got a feeling this may turn into quite a long post!
We have now had our 20 week scan (13/4/11), which felt really strange. That is the last time we will see our baby until he/she is actually in our arms! And yes, we (or at least Adam) managed to stay strong enough to keep Buttons sex a surprise. I cant help thinking that if id have been there on my own, i may have buckled and found out, but Adam was determined we would have a surprise. I have decided i am going to ask the midwives to let Adam announce the sex to me when Button arrives. I just think this would make a lovely bond between us as a family, i cant think of a nicer way to finally find out, than for Adam to be the one to tell me.

The scan started off really well, they measured Button (who was 30cm including those great long legs!!), they checked the heart and its chambers, the spine, the face. Pretty much everything. It was amazing to see our little person on that screen again. The lady then said she needed to check the head, to get measurements, and to check the baby's brain. She was pressing on my tummy for a while, looking really puzzled. Apparently the baby's head was so far down, she couldn't scan that low in my pelvis to see properly.
This worried me a bit. Surely the head shouldn't be that low at this stage? I asked her if it was normal. She didn't give and answer of yes or no, she simply said that they manage to get into all sorts of positions in there. I'm hoping she would have told me if it was something to be worried about.
After about 20 minutes of scanning, she asked me to go for a ten minute walk, and to eat a mars bar, to try and encourage Button to change positions. I spent the whole ten minutes pacing up and down corridors, rubbing my tummy and hoping that they would move. When we went back in things were exactly the same. She made be lay on my side, then the other side, then she put cushions under me to tip me backwards, nothing was working.
Knowing that she was trying to check the baby's brain, i was getting more and more concerned with her puzzled silence. Part of my brain (the cerebellum) is damaged and i was getting really worried that this may also be the case with the baby, or something similar.
Eventually, she managed to get a good enough view to check everything she needed to, although it was still a struggle. Everything is fine. This was the biggest relief ever! We came away with two updated pictures of Button. They aren't as clear as the 12 weeks scan due to Buttons increase in size! In total, we were in the scan for well over an hour!

It feels so strange to be over half way there! Time is flying by at such an unbelievable pace!

We have also had a second hospital appointment, for an extra consultation. I have got to attend a few of these because of my 'added difficulties'. We actually found it a really helpful appointment, well worth the visit. I have been in serious amounts of pain with my legs and lower back. I literally cant be standing for long at all and im really in pain. The doctor said that at this stage of pregnancy, the majority of women are struggling with these sorts of pains anyway, but adding that to the problems i already have ( I have mild Cerebal Palsy, which includes having very wonky hips, knees and ankles) there is no wonder i am struggling so much. I had physiotherapy for many years as a child. I always had to wear big plastic supports in my shoes, and in my mid-teens i even had to wear straps up my legs.The doctor referred me for urgent physiotherapy, which she said i will recieve a letter about and may be starting in as early as a weeks time! She also prescribed me with some stronger pain relief, for when it gets unbarable, and told me to just stay off my feet whenever possible. She said that its probably going to get much worse, as i get bigger, so i feel so relieved that something is going to be done about it.

The past few days have brought some really strong kicks from Button. Its amazing how it has changed so dramatically in literally a matter of days. Its gone from a funny little fluttery feeling to definite movements and kicks. I find myself holding my tummy a lot of the time, especially in my sleep, and i have actually felt it on my hand now, and even seen my tummy move! Adam hasn't felt it yet, which is really starting to frustrate me. I always get him to put his hand straight on as soon as we feel anything, but then it stops.

My dad came over on the 10th April for his birthday, and we all went out for a meal which was lovely. After dinner we all went back to my Grandparents house for a while, i had the doppler that we'd borrowed from a friend, so we all sat round and had a listen to buttons heartbeat, and the little kicks and wiggles. It was lovely because it was only the second or third time iv seen my dad since i've been pregnant, so it was nice to be able to involve him in something.

Our living situation is a bit strange at the moment. We kept finding things that need doing with the house, which are each going to be quite costly. Such as, the heating is stuck on full, we don't seem to be able to do anything about it. Its literally unbearable at the moment, i can hardly breathe in there. Things need fixing in the bathroom, and in the kitchen etc. A lot of time and effort (and money) needs to be put into it. We are trying to decide what to do for the best. In the mean time we have come to stay with my sister in her new house. We plan to go back to the house regularly to do work on it. Our options will then be to either:

*Move back in and try to settle.

* Do enough to rent the house out, then find a little place of our own.

* Do enough to get the house on the market, and try and get it sold.

I think i am personally definitely edging towards moving. Adam already lived there before we got together, and i just really like the idea of us choosing somewhere together, boxing everything up, getting rid of all the junk that we don't need, and moving somewhere that we can have a fresh start with our baby. I'm just totally in love with the idea of choosing somewhere together, getting in and making decisions about what to put where etc. Its a part of growing up that i feel like i haven't done yet.

While we are staying with Abi, we are switching everything off at the house to save a bit of money, Adams now catching a train to work, as the new house is only a couple of miles to the station, so its saving him a lot on petrol money. The extra money will definitely help a lot over the coming months. Our kitten has just had an accident, which has cost £300 in vets bills. Abi was thankfully able to pay that for us, so we now have that to pay back, along with close to £1000 worth of baby stuff we had still planned to get, and the costs that are going to come with the work on the house.

Its all quite exciting, but I'm having to concentrate hard on keeping it feeling like an adventure, rather than a scary chore. I just want to know that we're going to be settled, happy and ready when Button arrives. I'm sure everything will turn out OK in the end.

We are going to have a wander this evening to explore a lovely little local pub we spotted the other day, we're going to sit outside with a drink and have a really good discussion about what we plan to do.

We are actually really enjoying this new town, there are plenty of things around, such as a massive new leisure centre with swimming pool, two nurseries, a big Asda, lots of little cafe's, an indoor shopping centre, a garage, chinease, indian and pizza resturants, lots of little pubs and the town centre, all within walking distance. We've already done some exploring and are looking forward to venturing a little more this everning.

We got a message the other day, from my friend who owns the baby shop, she had got the 'Millie and Boris' changing station in. In the Mamas and Papas shop it sells for £130, and she had it for sale for £45! Iv been thinking for a while that it might be a nice idea to have one of these. if we stayed in our current house, we could have it in the living room (which is on the middle floor). It has a bath, changing mat and shelves, which would be useful to save us constantly going up and downstairs. Also, the bath and changing mat will be useful for me to be able to use standing, because i struggle with back pain and wouldn't be good with bending to much. If we were with Abi for a while after Button was born, we could keep it in our room. Wherever we are, i think we would find it majorly useful. Adams mum had said that she would like to buy us a bath set, so Adam mentioned it to her the other day and she kindly said she would buy it for us. Which was lovely, as i knew it wouldn't stay in the shop for long! So we collected it yesterday!

I spent quite a while this morning planning the book i am having made for the baby. We're going to have it printed in hardback, and it'll take pride of place in the nursery. The idea is to have photos of all the family, pets, homes etc with writing about each person. We are going to write about our wedding, our jobs, hobbies, the pregnancy and include the scan photos etc. I think it'll be lovely to be able to show Button when he/she is older, how excited we are about meeting them :)

Well, i think iv written everything i was planning to, but there may end up being another couple of small posts this evening, as i remember things that i haven't included.

Please feel free to write comments or questions etc, so i know that there are still people out there actually reading me natter away to myself!

Love love love xxxx

Picture time!

I thought it might cheer me up a bit to take some pictures of my favourites of Buttons things so far...

Almost half way..

Well, its 18:13 and I'm sat here, in Adams pajama bottoms and his 'Grouchy Smurf'' T shirt. Been feeling really poorly lately. It started really badly in the middle of the night on Sunday. My chest keeps going tight, and i struggle to breathe. Iv been really achy all over and having hot and cold flushes. Iv had really bad pain in my head, neck and face too. If i lean forwards it literally feels like my face is going to fall off. Three doctors later and iv been diagnosed with:

* A Virus

* Sinusitis

* Chest infection

So I'm back on steroid inhalers on a regular basis, antibiotics and regular paracetamol. I hate taking things because of Button, but they've told me its all 100% safe.

I struggled a lot last week with pain in my legs. I had a long, busy week at work and i felt like they were hardly going to take my weight anymore by the end of it. Iv pretty much been prepared to have pretty bad leg pain. Iv had trouble all of my life with wonky bones, had lots of physiotherapy and i was supposed to wear straps up my legs to help straighten me out, i never really wore them though and i think i will now pay the price for that. Iv got to go for extra hospital consultations because of all my problems.

I didn't quite expect to be suffering this much so early on though. If its this much pain now, i dread to think what I'll be like in another 10 weeks +.

I have been off work so far this week, and literally just spent the three days resting, with my feet up, drinking lots and trying to get back to my normal self. It doesn't seem to be happening to quickly though.

I cant actually believe I'm almost half way through the pregnancy. Its going scarily fast, and it still feels like we've got so much to do.

Iv been feeling much stronger movements over the past two days, which is a nice little reminder that Buttons OK. I think the more i relax, the more i feel.

On a really happy note, we were going out for my brother in laws birthday meal last Thursday night. I was really looking forward to it, but i was a bit disappointed because iv only got one maternity dress, and i feel like iv worn it a million times over the past couple of months.

I got home, and started searching for anything that would fit. Adam arrived home later, came upstairs smirking, held my hand and led me to the living room. He'd laid out a beautiful new outfit. Maternity top, trousers, shoes, bag, necklace and a flower for my hair! It was sooo sweet, and it all matched! The best part, was an early mothers day card from Button :) I'll upload a picture in a minute.

Its a week today until our next scan, I'm having to work really hard to convince myself that i want a surprise! Sometimes i feel so desperate to know!

Iv started being a little brave too, iv been watching a programme which shows real life births. Iv sat through 3 episodes now. I'm still not sure whether its the best thing to do, as i do occasionally have a bit of a 'freak out', but i just want to feel as prepared as possible. I find it helpful to see how they talk to you, and what the options are etc.

A lovely little poem :)

I'm planning a proper blog later this evening, I'm not very well at all, so not had much chance to update. I just found this poem online and wanted to share it:

Although i cannot see you,

I still know that you're there,

You're warm and snug inside me,

and require gentle care.

Although i cannot hold you,

Or give you a hug goodnight,

I feel you move inside me,

and i know that you're alright.

Althoughi cannot kiss you,

or show you how i feel,

I know you share my feelings,

and that our bond is real.

..You are with me all the time,

and always on my mind,

Already i have fallen in love

with my precious gift from up above.

How lovely is that :)