It feels so good to finally be blogging again. We moved back to our own house a couple of Saturdays ago, and have been without the internet until now. It’s good to be back, albeit slightly strange spending so much time alone. We’ve done a lot of work on the house while we’ve been away, with huge thanks to my family. It really has felt like a fresh start coming back, so many things are different. Its almost like a new house. We’ve got a really big kitchen, and I guess we’ve never really made the most of it until now. We’ve moved a few things around and it is now a Kitchen/Diner. I’ve been desperate for a long time to have a proper dining room, especially now we’re going to have a family. Its not that we haven’t had the room to have one before, we’ve got a spare couple of rooms in the house to play with, but they layout of the place just makes it difficult. Throughout my childhood meal times were always very much a family event. A time where everyone gets together around the table and talks about their day, and that’s the way I like it. I’m not a fan of meals on a tray in front of the TV, at least, not all of the time.
So we now have a decent sized kitchen, and full dining table. I’m really excited about it as Adam and I have already shared some lovely meals (and chats) at the table together. It also means we can have people around for dinner, with somewhere to seat them!
There is still plenty to do here, which is good as I always have something I can be doing. My energy levels have taken a serious dip over the past week again though. There have been a couple of days where I literally haven’t done anything, which I hate. It feels wrong to have full days without getting anything done, when there is so much to do, but my body just hasn’t allowed it. For the first few weeks of my Holiday and Maternity leave, I was going out almost every day, walking round town, shopping etc. I don’t have the energy to do that at all now. In fact, there are things that we need for which I really should be taking a trip into town, and I just don’t feel like it at all. I’ve spent every weekday at home for the past week.
One very exciting thing that has happened lately is our nursery furniture arriving. It arrived last Monday which really was a highlight of the pregnancy. I asked Adam if he would mind using a days holiday, as we didn’t know what time it was being delivered, and I knew that if it came early in the morning I would struggle to wait until 5:30 to be able to do anything with it. It arrived at 2pm. Adam was incredible and managed to carry the whole lot single handed up two flights of stairs! I knew there probably wouldn’t be a great deal I could do, as I’m useless with instructions but I wanted to be a part of it. I grabbed a giant cushion and parked myself on the floor in the corner of the nursery. It became my job to open each little packet of screws, nuts and bolts etc and arrange them ready to pass to Adam when he needed them. I took several photos during the afternoon which I thought would be nice to look back on, and to show Button when he/she is older. At the end of last week I dropped my phone ( only about 2.5 feet onto soft carpet) and it has totally broken. It may just be the screen but I cant do anything with it. I’ve been given a temporary one to use incase I go into labour but all of my photos, videos, contacts etc were saved to the phone not the SIM. So I am praying that I’ll be able to recover them once I get a new IPhone.
Once all of the furniture was assembled, we had a break to cool down. It was a red hot day and Adam was feeling very achy. I cooked us a nice meal and then we decided to go for a swim to cool us down. We didn’t do a great deal of actual swimming in the pool, we just hovered about in a corner and talked for ages. It was really nice. We decided we both wanted to try the nursery layout a different way around, and had loads of discussions on parenting, family, plans for Christmas and finances. The swimming pool is at the leisure club where we had our wedding reception, so it’s always nice for us to have a drink in there after a swim, so we continued our chat at the bar.
We didn’t leave until about 10pm, but by this point we were buzzing about the nusery again and there is no way either of us could have waited until the following evening to play about with it. Adam moved the furniture into the new layout that we’d discussed and straight away we both loved it. There is only one down side to that room. We have chosen the smallest of the spare rooms as the nursery, as Adam said it would be nice for the oldest child to be allowed to move into the bigger bedroom once baby number two comes along. The little room is the perfect size for all of the nursery furniture, but unfortunately we aren’t going to be having my nursing chair in there. It would fit, at a push, but it makes the whole room really cramped and quite awkward to get around. We have decided that the bigger bedroom will be a playroom when the child is older. For the time being we’re going to have the nursery chair in there, along with a CD player with some nice lullabies or something. We’re going to use it mainly for night feeds and as a sort of ‘stock room’. We now have quite a collection of nappies, cotton wool, and bottles of baby bath/shampoo/powder etc so we are going to keep all spare supplies in there, and just stock up when necessary.
We were up until almost 1am sorting things and finding a place for everything which was incredible- something I have always looked forward to. All it needs now are the little finishing touches, such as little pictures putting on the wall etc which I’m going to see if we can do tonight. It really does feel perfect for Button. I cant help myself from wandering in there all the time and just looking around, I turn the cot mobile on and just stand looking at all the tiny little clothes that are neatly hanging in the wardrobe. Its so hard to imagine that our very own little person will be wearing them in no more than 5 weeks time!
I’m going to talk more about what pregnancy has been like over the past couple of weeks, as quite a lot has changed recently. I will be 37 weeks pregnant in two days time, therefore I will then be classed as ‘full term’. This means that if Button arrives any time after Wednesday, He/She will no longer be classed as premature! It’s scary to think how close that is and how quickly it has come around. After being referred back to the hospital by my midwife yet again for my growth, Adam and I attended the pregnancy Assesment Unit again a week ago last Friday. This appointment left me in tears of sheer panic. During the appointment I didn’t have any scans or anything. The midwife literally told me to get on the bed, and she pressed hard on my tummy, as all of the others have done so many times before. She then took my measurements again. Every midwife that has ever measured me has said that I’m really quite difficult to measure, as my tummy muscles are so tight. This makes me wonder how accurate their measurements actually are. She said she was measuring me too big, but not as big as the previous midwife. She said “It’s just because it’s a big baby” and then left to find a doctor. This had instantly got me worried, as nobody until then had ever said that the baby was big. At my scans it had measured almost the perfect size (apart from having a slightly round tummy!) Everyone else had told me it was down to me having a lot of fluid.
About ten minutes later the doctor came in for a chat with us. She said that because the baby was ‘big’ it was difficult for them to tell whether or not I would manage a natural delivery. She said they wouldn’t be able to tell at this stage whether or not the baby’s head would even be small enough to fit right down into my pelvis. She went on to say that they wont induce me early as ‘it might not work’, and so the plan for now was to allow me to go into natural labour. She then explained that I will be monitored during labour and if the baby is too big for me to deliver naturally, the labour would be long with no progress being made, at this point the may decide to whisk me off for a Section. Everything turned to a complete blurr while she was speaking, as I was trying to digest everything she was telling me but my brain just didn’t seem able to keep up. The then said that if by the 31st (my due date) nothing had happened, they would have me in that day for a sweep. She went away and left us for about 15 minutes. I sat shaking trying to understand why they were apparently going to just wait and see how much I struggle during labour before deciding whether or not to cut me open.
When she returned, she had got two appointments for me, both on the 1st September! The first was for a growth scan, and the second for a consultation to review the scan results. I assume that if the baby hasn’t arrived by this point, and is measuring big on the scan, they will book me for a section.
Adam and I went for lunch at the hospital and I text my mum to tell her I needed a chat (and a hug). Adam could obviously tell that I was fighting back the tears, when we got into the car he held my hand and said “You’re going to be fine, you know that don’t you?” With that, I burst into floods of tears. I just couldn’t believe what the doctor had said. Why just let me spend hours in pointless labour if it might not even do anything? I’ve been scared stiff about getting a ‘normal’ sized baby out, never mind one that may even be too big to fit! He sat and cuddled me for a few minutes before setting on our way again. I rang my mum during the journey home and she managed to calm me down quite a lot. I also received a lot of reassuring texts from my friend Rosie, who (as always) just sent me a message as I needed her. She went through a very similar situation when she was having her little boy, so it was good to talk to her.
I’m still feeling very worried about the whole thing, but I’ve decided I’m not going to let it upset me too much, as the only time it has ever been mentioned that Button is ‘big’ was on this one occasion, by one midwife, who had only done the same as all the others. I’d had no growth scan to indicate baby’s size, nor had the doctor felt to get her opinion. Not that I don’t trust the midwifes skills but I’m just not going to allow myself to spend the next three weeks being frightened over something which may not even be an issue.
Button seems to get hiccups a lot at the moment, which is rather cute! I always try rubbing his/her back and talking to help them to feel better. Adams felt it a couple of times too which is lovely. Some of the movements are incredible now. The way my whole stomach changes shape, and you can see parts move all the way across is fascinating! Even the midwives joke saying ‘That baby’s having another disco!’
I’ve just thought of something reassuring as I’m writing this. If the baby was really that big, surely there would be much room for movement at all? There certainly seems to be plenty at the moment!
Some of the movements are really quite uncomfortable now, I feel things getting caught under my ribs, which is far from pleasant. I am finding now that there are only a limited number of positions I can be comfortable in, and I have to change position really regularly. I am having baths incredibly regularly now, to take the weight off and soak my muscles a bit, as they ache like mad. Also, iv got terrible eczema at the top of my bump and on my legs which drives me mad, so a soak in the bath with some special cream works wonders. In an evening, if I’m not in the bath, I tend to be bouncing about in the living room on my birthing ball. If I watch TV sitting, or laying on the sofa, im constantly wriggling around, struggling to get comfortable, whereas on the ball I’m constantly moving, which helps with my restlessness, is really comfortable and can at least be a bit of exercise!
As the weeks go by I think I’m starting to get a little paranoid about labour now. Every little pain I get ( and there are a fair few) I’m wondering whether its something important. On Saturday night I had some really strange pains. They were like a really tight stitch-like feeling at the top of my bump and round into my back. They lasted about 30 seconds and were really uncomfortable. I managed to convince myself they were real contractions, so I started timing them. They were happening every 20-25 minutes, which convinced me even more. I did lots of bouncing on my ball, and had a nice warm bath but eventually they just stopped.
Another late pregnancy symptom which I am experiencing with a vengeance is high emotions. I’ve been like it for a while now. Iv always been quite an emotional person but its unbelievable at the moment. I end up getting tearful at things on the TV that I never normally would. Last night I decided to make Adam a slightly less healthy dinner as a treat. I was making Gammon, Egg and chips which I knew he would enjoy. I had a slight disaster with the first egg I tried to fry and ended up sobbing! I got myself into the stupid mindset of ‘what kind of wife and mother am I going to be if I cant even fry an egg??’ .. Silly I know! It seems really funny now. Even half an hour later I was laughing about it but at the time it felt like the end of the world!
Everythings so exciting yet scary at the moment, my Sister in Law, Kelly is due to have her baby this Friday! I cant believe it! We are so excited to meet our new little niece or nephew, and Buttons little cousin. Its been fab to have been pregnant at the same time as her, someone to share the experience, the excitement and the groans with. I think it’ll be great to have our children so close in age, they will grow up really close which is lovely. I never really had much family nearby when I was growing up, so I think its nice that Button will have! I have also seen my dad now, for what will probably be the last time before he’s a Grandad. I cant help but wonder whether that felt as strange and emotional for him as it did me.
I cant believe how close I am to finally becoming a mummy. I have literally wanted this since before I can remember. One of my oldest memories is from when I was about 4 years old. At that age I knew that babies came from ladies, but had no idea that men had anything to do with it. That Christmas I asked Santa to ask his wife if I could have a baby as my present. I remember telling him that all the other toys should be sent to children in Africa. I just wanted my baby. On Christmas Eve that year, I laid out my dolls cot, and chose a special outfit to put them in etc. Things have been similar my whole life. I had dolls that really felt real to me as a child, and I took much better care of them than a lot of children that age would. I get little tears of happiness when I think that after all of these years of feeling like this is what I was born for, its finally about to happen. It also feels a little emotional to think that at this point, I have no idea which of these blog posts will be my last as a ‘mum to be’. Therefore I just want to say how much I have loved every single second of this experience. It has felt like I’ve done a lot of grumbling over the past few weeks, but every single ache and pain will have been well worth it. It’s certainly been a rollercoaster, but iv had so much support from people riding along with me and I cant thank them enough. I’m going to be the absolute best I can be for this little person. I’m going to teach them everything I know and give them the start in life that they deserve. I love them so much already I cant even explain it. I cant wait to hold them and kiss their little nose!
I would like to give a very important thank you to my Husband, Adam. He has absolutely been my rock throughout this pregnancy. Constantly telling me how proud he is of me and how well I’m doing, at the times when I feel like I’m really not. He’s rubbed my back, washed my hair when iv been in pain and gone to the shops at all hours to fetch anything that I’ve needed. He’s amazing. One extra special thank you to him too, as even though it was burnt to a crisp, he ate that egg anyway, just to see me smile!
So we now have a decent sized kitchen, and full dining table. I’m really excited about it as Adam and I have already shared some lovely meals (and chats) at the table together. It also means we can have people around for dinner, with somewhere to seat them!
There is still plenty to do here, which is good as I always have something I can be doing. My energy levels have taken a serious dip over the past week again though. There have been a couple of days where I literally haven’t done anything, which I hate. It feels wrong to have full days without getting anything done, when there is so much to do, but my body just hasn’t allowed it. For the first few weeks of my Holiday and Maternity leave, I was going out almost every day, walking round town, shopping etc. I don’t have the energy to do that at all now. In fact, there are things that we need for which I really should be taking a trip into town, and I just don’t feel like it at all. I’ve spent every weekday at home for the past week.
One very exciting thing that has happened lately is our nursery furniture arriving. It arrived last Monday which really was a highlight of the pregnancy. I asked Adam if he would mind using a days holiday, as we didn’t know what time it was being delivered, and I knew that if it came early in the morning I would struggle to wait until 5:30 to be able to do anything with it. It arrived at 2pm. Adam was incredible and managed to carry the whole lot single handed up two flights of stairs! I knew there probably wouldn’t be a great deal I could do, as I’m useless with instructions but I wanted to be a part of it. I grabbed a giant cushion and parked myself on the floor in the corner of the nursery. It became my job to open each little packet of screws, nuts and bolts etc and arrange them ready to pass to Adam when he needed them. I took several photos during the afternoon which I thought would be nice to look back on, and to show Button when he/she is older. At the end of last week I dropped my phone ( only about 2.5 feet onto soft carpet) and it has totally broken. It may just be the screen but I cant do anything with it. I’ve been given a temporary one to use incase I go into labour but all of my photos, videos, contacts etc were saved to the phone not the SIM. So I am praying that I’ll be able to recover them once I get a new IPhone.
Once all of the furniture was assembled, we had a break to cool down. It was a red hot day and Adam was feeling very achy. I cooked us a nice meal and then we decided to go for a swim to cool us down. We didn’t do a great deal of actual swimming in the pool, we just hovered about in a corner and talked for ages. It was really nice. We decided we both wanted to try the nursery layout a different way around, and had loads of discussions on parenting, family, plans for Christmas and finances. The swimming pool is at the leisure club where we had our wedding reception, so it’s always nice for us to have a drink in there after a swim, so we continued our chat at the bar.
We didn’t leave until about 10pm, but by this point we were buzzing about the nusery again and there is no way either of us could have waited until the following evening to play about with it. Adam moved the furniture into the new layout that we’d discussed and straight away we both loved it. There is only one down side to that room. We have chosen the smallest of the spare rooms as the nursery, as Adam said it would be nice for the oldest child to be allowed to move into the bigger bedroom once baby number two comes along. The little room is the perfect size for all of the nursery furniture, but unfortunately we aren’t going to be having my nursing chair in there. It would fit, at a push, but it makes the whole room really cramped and quite awkward to get around. We have decided that the bigger bedroom will be a playroom when the child is older. For the time being we’re going to have the nursery chair in there, along with a CD player with some nice lullabies or something. We’re going to use it mainly for night feeds and as a sort of ‘stock room’. We now have quite a collection of nappies, cotton wool, and bottles of baby bath/shampoo/powder etc so we are going to keep all spare supplies in there, and just stock up when necessary.
We were up until almost 1am sorting things and finding a place for everything which was incredible- something I have always looked forward to. All it needs now are the little finishing touches, such as little pictures putting on the wall etc which I’m going to see if we can do tonight. It really does feel perfect for Button. I cant help myself from wandering in there all the time and just looking around, I turn the cot mobile on and just stand looking at all the tiny little clothes that are neatly hanging in the wardrobe. Its so hard to imagine that our very own little person will be wearing them in no more than 5 weeks time!
I’m going to talk more about what pregnancy has been like over the past couple of weeks, as quite a lot has changed recently. I will be 37 weeks pregnant in two days time, therefore I will then be classed as ‘full term’. This means that if Button arrives any time after Wednesday, He/She will no longer be classed as premature! It’s scary to think how close that is and how quickly it has come around. After being referred back to the hospital by my midwife yet again for my growth, Adam and I attended the pregnancy Assesment Unit again a week ago last Friday. This appointment left me in tears of sheer panic. During the appointment I didn’t have any scans or anything. The midwife literally told me to get on the bed, and she pressed hard on my tummy, as all of the others have done so many times before. She then took my measurements again. Every midwife that has ever measured me has said that I’m really quite difficult to measure, as my tummy muscles are so tight. This makes me wonder how accurate their measurements actually are. She said she was measuring me too big, but not as big as the previous midwife. She said “It’s just because it’s a big baby” and then left to find a doctor. This had instantly got me worried, as nobody until then had ever said that the baby was big. At my scans it had measured almost the perfect size (apart from having a slightly round tummy!) Everyone else had told me it was down to me having a lot of fluid.
About ten minutes later the doctor came in for a chat with us. She said that because the baby was ‘big’ it was difficult for them to tell whether or not I would manage a natural delivery. She said they wouldn’t be able to tell at this stage whether or not the baby’s head would even be small enough to fit right down into my pelvis. She went on to say that they wont induce me early as ‘it might not work’, and so the plan for now was to allow me to go into natural labour. She then explained that I will be monitored during labour and if the baby is too big for me to deliver naturally, the labour would be long with no progress being made, at this point the may decide to whisk me off for a Section. Everything turned to a complete blurr while she was speaking, as I was trying to digest everything she was telling me but my brain just didn’t seem able to keep up. The then said that if by the 31st (my due date) nothing had happened, they would have me in that day for a sweep. She went away and left us for about 15 minutes. I sat shaking trying to understand why they were apparently going to just wait and see how much I struggle during labour before deciding whether or not to cut me open.
When she returned, she had got two appointments for me, both on the 1st September! The first was for a growth scan, and the second for a consultation to review the scan results. I assume that if the baby hasn’t arrived by this point, and is measuring big on the scan, they will book me for a section.
Adam and I went for lunch at the hospital and I text my mum to tell her I needed a chat (and a hug). Adam could obviously tell that I was fighting back the tears, when we got into the car he held my hand and said “You’re going to be fine, you know that don’t you?” With that, I burst into floods of tears. I just couldn’t believe what the doctor had said. Why just let me spend hours in pointless labour if it might not even do anything? I’ve been scared stiff about getting a ‘normal’ sized baby out, never mind one that may even be too big to fit! He sat and cuddled me for a few minutes before setting on our way again. I rang my mum during the journey home and she managed to calm me down quite a lot. I also received a lot of reassuring texts from my friend Rosie, who (as always) just sent me a message as I needed her. She went through a very similar situation when she was having her little boy, so it was good to talk to her.
I’m still feeling very worried about the whole thing, but I’ve decided I’m not going to let it upset me too much, as the only time it has ever been mentioned that Button is ‘big’ was on this one occasion, by one midwife, who had only done the same as all the others. I’d had no growth scan to indicate baby’s size, nor had the doctor felt to get her opinion. Not that I don’t trust the midwifes skills but I’m just not going to allow myself to spend the next three weeks being frightened over something which may not even be an issue.
Button seems to get hiccups a lot at the moment, which is rather cute! I always try rubbing his/her back and talking to help them to feel better. Adams felt it a couple of times too which is lovely. Some of the movements are incredible now. The way my whole stomach changes shape, and you can see parts move all the way across is fascinating! Even the midwives joke saying ‘That baby’s having another disco!’
I’ve just thought of something reassuring as I’m writing this. If the baby was really that big, surely there would be much room for movement at all? There certainly seems to be plenty at the moment!
Some of the movements are really quite uncomfortable now, I feel things getting caught under my ribs, which is far from pleasant. I am finding now that there are only a limited number of positions I can be comfortable in, and I have to change position really regularly. I am having baths incredibly regularly now, to take the weight off and soak my muscles a bit, as they ache like mad. Also, iv got terrible eczema at the top of my bump and on my legs which drives me mad, so a soak in the bath with some special cream works wonders. In an evening, if I’m not in the bath, I tend to be bouncing about in the living room on my birthing ball. If I watch TV sitting, or laying on the sofa, im constantly wriggling around, struggling to get comfortable, whereas on the ball I’m constantly moving, which helps with my restlessness, is really comfortable and can at least be a bit of exercise!
As the weeks go by I think I’m starting to get a little paranoid about labour now. Every little pain I get ( and there are a fair few) I’m wondering whether its something important. On Saturday night I had some really strange pains. They were like a really tight stitch-like feeling at the top of my bump and round into my back. They lasted about 30 seconds and were really uncomfortable. I managed to convince myself they were real contractions, so I started timing them. They were happening every 20-25 minutes, which convinced me even more. I did lots of bouncing on my ball, and had a nice warm bath but eventually they just stopped.
Another late pregnancy symptom which I am experiencing with a vengeance is high emotions. I’ve been like it for a while now. Iv always been quite an emotional person but its unbelievable at the moment. I end up getting tearful at things on the TV that I never normally would. Last night I decided to make Adam a slightly less healthy dinner as a treat. I was making Gammon, Egg and chips which I knew he would enjoy. I had a slight disaster with the first egg I tried to fry and ended up sobbing! I got myself into the stupid mindset of ‘what kind of wife and mother am I going to be if I cant even fry an egg??’ .. Silly I know! It seems really funny now. Even half an hour later I was laughing about it but at the time it felt like the end of the world!
Everythings so exciting yet scary at the moment, my Sister in Law, Kelly is due to have her baby this Friday! I cant believe it! We are so excited to meet our new little niece or nephew, and Buttons little cousin. Its been fab to have been pregnant at the same time as her, someone to share the experience, the excitement and the groans with. I think it’ll be great to have our children so close in age, they will grow up really close which is lovely. I never really had much family nearby when I was growing up, so I think its nice that Button will have! I have also seen my dad now, for what will probably be the last time before he’s a Grandad. I cant help but wonder whether that felt as strange and emotional for him as it did me.
I cant believe how close I am to finally becoming a mummy. I have literally wanted this since before I can remember. One of my oldest memories is from when I was about 4 years old. At that age I knew that babies came from ladies, but had no idea that men had anything to do with it. That Christmas I asked Santa to ask his wife if I could have a baby as my present. I remember telling him that all the other toys should be sent to children in Africa. I just wanted my baby. On Christmas Eve that year, I laid out my dolls cot, and chose a special outfit to put them in etc. Things have been similar my whole life. I had dolls that really felt real to me as a child, and I took much better care of them than a lot of children that age would. I get little tears of happiness when I think that after all of these years of feeling like this is what I was born for, its finally about to happen. It also feels a little emotional to think that at this point, I have no idea which of these blog posts will be my last as a ‘mum to be’. Therefore I just want to say how much I have loved every single second of this experience. It has felt like I’ve done a lot of grumbling over the past few weeks, but every single ache and pain will have been well worth it. It’s certainly been a rollercoaster, but iv had so much support from people riding along with me and I cant thank them enough. I’m going to be the absolute best I can be for this little person. I’m going to teach them everything I know and give them the start in life that they deserve. I love them so much already I cant even explain it. I cant wait to hold them and kiss their little nose!
I would like to give a very important thank you to my Husband, Adam. He has absolutely been my rock throughout this pregnancy. Constantly telling me how proud he is of me and how well I’m doing, at the times when I feel like I’m really not. He’s rubbed my back, washed my hair when iv been in pain and gone to the shops at all hours to fetch anything that I’ve needed. He’s amazing. One extra special thank you to him too, as even though it was burnt to a crisp, he ate that egg anyway, just to see me smile!
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