While we're on the subject of early births, I still can’t help but feel a little paranoid that there may be indications of Button arriving early. I’m getting really distressed by the number of people telling me my bump is strangely low. Its approx 7-8 people a day! Even patients at work! Its really beginning to feel like something’s not right. They might as well be walking up to me and saying 'Hi, your bump looks worrying abnormal'! That, along with the fact that baby’s head was so low at the scan, my bump getting big quickly and a few other more recent premature symptoms im really starting to doubt my due date. I've got an appointment with Heather (my midwife) on Wednesday though so im going to ask her about it all and hopefully get some reassurance :)
Iv started making a book for Button. I've spent hours on it and im really proud of how its going (although I think there’s a few printing issues with it I need to look at). It’s full of photos and information on different family members, how I and Adam got together, our wedding etc. As a nice little keepsake to show Button where he/she came from. Im hoping to be finishing it and sending it to print within the next couple of days.
Buttons really active now, Adams felt his first kick and my tummy is moving around loads. Some kicks are even a bit uncomfortable, but i dont mind. Its lovely having little reminders that they are ok in there. Im starting to notice a bit of a pattern of when the baby is awake and asleep. I always get kicks when i first wake up, and as i settle down in the evening, often a little bit of movement after lunch and in the early afternoon, and lots of movement on the bus home! (I think thats Button looking forward to seeing daddy :) ).
Theres lots of wriggling going on in there right now :)
Some factors of pregnancy have become less than pleasant over the past few weeks. I now have really bad stretch marks that seem to be taking over the whole of my stomach, they itch like mad and are really frustrating. I've been applying Bio Oil twice a day for months, but they are still really bad. If they look like this at the moment, i bet i'll be covered by the time baby is actually here.
Iv been struggling alot with back and leg pain still. I should be going for physio at some point next week, so maybe this will help, but its really getting painful.
Sleep is becomming a thing of the past, which everyone is saying its to 'prepare me for when the babys here', but i have literally been sat in tears at 3am because im almost going full nights with no sleep, then having to face a full day at work. Its just frustrating because it doesnt seem to be one particular thing thats keeping me awake, just general discomfort, aches and to much thinking i think. Iv tried alsorts, nice warm bath and a massage from my sister before bed, trying to really wind down, but nothing seems to work. I seem to be back to an average of 5 toilet get-ups a night too, which doesnt help. So if anyone has any advice, please feel free to comment.
Its funny really, id always thought that i just havent recieved any comments on here, but i found them all the other day, quite a lot of them, that i had never noticed, so if you have ever commented on a post, i didnt mean to ignore you!
Another thing thats bothering me at the moment is the fact that iv got to start making some serious birth decisions. Its the hardest possible thing to do. I dont know how your supposed to make such huge decisions about something, when you have no clue what its going to be like or how your going to cope. It isnt lack of thinking about it either, i must think about labour approximately 20 times a day! And its what i spend most of my time awake at night thinking about too. I've just got all these thoughts whizzing round my head, water births, epidurals, pethedine, gas and air, active birth, positions, birthing balls, caesareans, and episiotomy. It’s all driving me a little mad! I feel like its going to be some of the biggest decisions of my life, something I don’t want to be getting wrong!
Adam, Button and I went out for a lovely meal on Monday night, thanks to Abi and Paul buying us some meal vouchers for Christmas. We spent the evening at Il Rosso in Mansfield and thoroughly enjoyed the quality time together to discuss our current situation. We talked about money, the house and what sort of parents we want to be. It was really lovely chatting about it with him. It made me feel even more excited because we both seem to have the same views on parenting.
I'm feeling quite optimistic about my remaining time at work now too. I've got 9 days of actual work left before a week off with monkey for our wedding anniversary!!! (How fast that’s gone!) then I have four weeks at work, then another week off, then four weeks back then I finish! It’s just nice to know that i've only got four weeks in one go before I can chill out and prepare for my baby.
On the cravings front, we're very much back on fruit juice! I am almost getting through a carton a day, which I don’t suppose is a bad thing really; there are much worse things to crave.
More exciting news, we think Button may have a name! We'd pretty much chosen our boys name a while ago, as it was literally the only boys name we could agree that we both liked. We have been struggling to decide between two girls names that we really like, but I think we may have come to a decision!
So, things are going well, im still loving every second of pregnancy, even though it feels like a pretty unattractive, and often quite painful period of my life. I know this baby will be worth every little ache and every stretch mark that’s going to come my way!
Here is an updated bump photo, taken just before we left for our lovely meal, 23+5 :)
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